Things You Can Control...and Things You Can't

Things You Can Control......
~Your reaction to others
~Your to-do list (and the number of items on it)
~How your day is spent
~Your goals
~How much time you're willing to spend on a particular project
~Your self-esteem and self-worth
~How you treat others
~Your exercise and eating habits
~The communication of your needs to others
~Telling people when you're stresses out and need time alone or help with projects
~Whether or how much you smoke or drink alcohol
~How old you act
~The way you raise your children

Things You Can't Change......
~The age or stage of development your children are in
~The way you were raised
~Whether the stoplight turns red or green
~How fast other cars are driving
~Other people
~The timing of your teenager's mood swings or your toddler's temper tantrums
~Your age
~When work or a project takes much longer than expected
~Waiting for your doctor 30 minutes after your scheduled appointment
~A death, illness, or accident in the family
~The Calendar
~Being laid off from a job
~Messes made right after you clean the house

Relationships 101

I have had a "gloomy" disposition lately. I have had alot going on and have had a few other people in my life that have had to deal with some of the same things. In saying that....I have done alot of reading and this is one of the things I came across that really hit home for me in more ways that one.

In small doses, competition can motivate you to achieve more. Constantly comparing career successes, wardrobes, bank accounts or your love lives can wear down your self-esteem and you relationship with a friend or family member. Competition becomes unhealthy when it makes up feel bad about yourself. One of the main ingredients in a positive relationship is that BOTH people feel that they can be themselves and don't have to impress each other. People tend to harbor an irrational belief that there's only so much good stuff to go around. The root of the problem is not yours or their good luck it is yours/their own flagging sense of self-esteem.

"People who try to beat others all the time are attempting to bolster their self image." says psychologist Tina Tessina.

If you are the competitive party:
* Think Before You Speak: Catch yourself before you say something that might hurt someone
*Acknowledge Your Issues: Take a look on the inside of yourself.
*Don't Beat Yourself Up

If you are on the receiving end:
*Talk to him/her: Create some distance; He/She may sense something is amiss and look at his/her own behavior at what is causing the distance between the two of you.
*Avoid His/Her Triggers
*Know When To Let Go: If the problem is excessive, you have to consider whether this is someone you can have a "relationship" with.

***Some so called relationships are not worth the abuse ....so move on with no regrets.