Friend OR Foe

I had a really good friend from Junior High, High School and I guess you would say "adult" life. We were so close we more often than not got called sisters. She had a boyfriend turned fiance that broke up with her over email and moved hours away over night. In the meantime she found out she was pregnant and she asked me to call him and tell him. They then decided to get back together and get married. I, of course, was the maid of honor. (Fast forward about two years.) I got two anonymous calls from a guy who was asking me to "do things" with him. The guy eventually fessed up to be her husband and somewhat made a joke out of the calls then asked me a couple of very personal questions. This made me uncomfortable and to make matters worse before he got off of the phone he said, "Don't tell her I called you. You know how she is." That made me feel even worse. A co-worker and my husband were each present during the calls. My husband was furious. (For obvious reasons!) I felt horrible and felt that I really needed to tell her and my husband wanted me to because he was so mad. The thing is she caught him lying and flirting on many occasions when he did not know she was around so this was not the first time he had done something shady. So I tried and tried to tell her but I never could. I finally wrote her a letter and that was three years ago. I tried on many, many occasions to contact her but she never responded. I did admit in a letter to her and of couse I am admitting now that maybe I should have told her in person. I don't think that would have changed things and I know she must have been going through a tough time especially since at the time she was going through her second pregnancy. I know that sometimes my words can "hurt" and I am trying my best to work on that but I still don't think it is fair that I was "punished" for something I did not do. If nothing else she could have at least written me and said, "Don't ever talk to me again!" I got nothing. It was as if she was "dead" to me and I went through a very long "grieving" period. Just last week at work I came across a letter that I had written her and figured, "Why do I even try." I then proceeded to rip up the letter and "write off" our friendship. The strange thing is this past Saturday I got a letter from her. Remember this is the first time she has contacted me in THREE years. I was not as excited as I thought I would be. I guess because like I said before I had just "written her off". I think I was mad because I was finally getting over things and all of a sudden she thinks she just pop back in my life like nothing happened. The letter was real short and sweet. She just asked how we all were and just gave me some details on her family. I thought about it all weekend and decided I would write back. I answered all of her questions and then very politely asked what changed and why did she write me. I then asked if we were ever going to have "some kind of" relationship again. In closing, I told her that if we don't talk again that I was very happy she wrote me, glad they were doing well and best wishes in life!