Crazy, Crazy, Times!!

I am sitting at work on pins and needles. Brian is taking his EMT exam as I type this. We don't know if he will know the results instantly or if we will have to wait or not. He rarely gets nervous but this morning he was SO nervous. He is very ready to work on an ambulance. He loves to help people and he is very good at it. I am so proud of his accomplishments and so proud of him. We have been married 9 years this year...as of this month we have been a couple for 10 years. He has always been an awesome guy but the past several years he has really evolved into a man that I know I will always and forever love. He really is my soul mate. I thank God for him. As much as he says I have helped him...he too has helped me. We really do bring out the best in each other. Mushy gushy...I know, I know. :-)

He and I have been taking A&PI this summer and he takes his final tomorrow and I take my next Tuesday. I am SOOO nervous. I am coming up with every study tactic I can find. I wish I could just lay my head down on my book and "soak" up all the useful information. It just seems like as I have gotten older I can't absorb as much as I used to. I also think I really do have adult ADD. What were we talking about again???

We have been dealing with some family issues lately. I have just hated seeing my husband so sad and hurt. I too have hurt but I have tried all I can do. I just wish it was easier for everyone to get along. The bad thing is that we WANT to be closer but we just keep being pushed back. So sad. :-( There is one family member I talked to this morning that I think being the mom of a boy that is closer to Brian's age understands more. She doesn't even know what has been going on (that I know of) and you know I always just feel good when I talk to her. She has a lot going on in her life right now with her own little family and I am remembering to say prayers for her everyday!

Hmmmm....what else, what else...oh Brian will be leaving to go out of town for 2 1/2 weeks for the USCG. He will come home for a week and then be gone for another whole week! Whoa is me...life of a military wife! :-) I do plan to go down and visit him and get some beach time in during the next couple of weeks. We will see how that goes...

Later!!

The Desires of My Heart

A friend of mine repeated something in her blog that the preacher told them this weekend at revival. It was:

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. I
realized tonight that I had let the desires of my heart keep me from delighting
myself in the Lord."

Have you ever read something or heard someone say something and think, "Wow, that could have just as easily come out of my mouth!" I would consider myself a good Christian. We have slacked off on our Church going a little because we are in Church limbo. We love the "family" church we are members of and are having a hard time saying goodbye. There is a church closer to home that we really love but it is like we are scared to dedicate because it almost feels like we are "cheating" on our Church family. Our response to this has not been a good thing. It has been that we have slacked off on going to Church all together. This is NOT the answer and I know it. We are just going to have to make the tough decision...no matter what we decide.

In saying that, I have also let other "desires of my heart" get in the way of my love of God. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now. I can't really go into a lot of detail (nothing bad just STUFF..LOL) but reading this quote on my friend's blog has put me in the mindset that I need to be in.

Put HIM first and all other things will fall into place!

Summer Camp = Sad Mom!!

We drove Baylee to a week long, Operation Purple, summer camp last Sunday. I was so sad to leave her and I am SOOOO ready to go pick her up. I know she is having fun but I just miss that I can't talk to her everyday. I have sent several cards to her this week but it is not the same as hearing her voice. Brian has harassed me all week about the fact that I will be one of "those" moms when she goes off to college. At which point I promptly reminded him that we would not have to worry about it because she can will be living with us until she gets married (if I let her leave then!). I know, I know...wishful thinking on my part but let me live in my fantasy world until it happens, will ya? *grin* This morning when I was getting dressed I was thinking about several things.

First, new moms always think that their baby is the best baby...Lord knows I thought that (& still do sometimes!). It made me think...is it fair for me to feel this way? Of course, most people choose their children as "the best" but if you really think about it EVERYONE is SOMEONES baby. Imagine how much easier life would be if people would realize this small fact of life. I think if we all thought of each other (and each other's children) as "someones baby" it makes them seem more human. More lovable. Hmmm...random thoughts I know.

The second thing I thought about is no matter how old your "babies" get they will always be your babies. I was lying in bed last night and having trouble sleeping thinking about all the things moms think about. (Is Baylee having fun, is she safe, is she happy, did she brush her teeth?) After about a half-hour of lying there my thoughts drifted to the day Baylee was born. It was the perfect delivery. She was born April 6, 1998, 4:32 p.m., 6lbs 8oz, 21 inches of pure beauty. Perfect in every way. She slept good, ate good and all together was a good baby. I think before I even had her I had pretty good mother instincts but it seems the second she was born they kicked in full blast. I could not sleep while at the hospital until I knew she was safely beside me. For the first two months of her life I would lie awake and watch her sleep. For the past 11 years I get up countless times and run in her room just to lay my hand on her chest to make sure she is okay. On many of those nights I lay down beside her and think about her life and hope everyday that she knows how much her daddy and I love her.

She is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us. Brian and I like to say she is the best accomplishment we have ever made...raising a beautiful, smart, funny and sweet daughter. Sadly, we experienced a loss in June. What we would have hoped to be a baby brother or baby sister to our already perfect family. It was not God's timing. I grieved in my own time and now I am ready to move on. We do hope to give Baylee a sibling but sibling or no sibling...she is perfect to me.

The Faith of Rick Warren

I think that Rick Warren is just an amazing man. The insight he has on our Heavenly Father is something I long for. I know it is easily found through life's rule book, The Bible, though I think true learning is a gift only given to some so that those of us (me!) that don't get it on our own can have complete understand of what our most awesome Heavenly Father has in store for us. I read this in an email this week and I have to say I was very much impressed with Rick Warren's response to his life's circumstances. I for one think he is an amazing man and from this day forth I will remember to PRAISE God for the good and the bad because without the bad I cannot be a witness to those that are going through the same problems I had/have/will have. The difference is there are those who go through these problems WITHOUT God in their lives and it is our duty as Christian to be the example that God expects us to be so that we may get a greater treasure than ANY treasure you could receive here on earth!!

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?

And I respond:

In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity..

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going
to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now,
you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than
your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in
making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but
that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ
likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also
the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that
life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the
mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than
life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a
railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in
your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always
something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things
are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems: If you focus
on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my
issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your
focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in
spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to
heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet
God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other
people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You
have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually,
sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past
year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me
instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had
never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety
for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what
He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two
different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm
72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our
lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway
through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we
set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant
churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the
next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in
the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was
liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know
You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do
list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're
called human beings, not human doings.

The Ups & Downs!!

Last week was definitely a roller coaster ride. I had lots of positives and then lots of negatives. I am glad that is over FOR SURE. I suffered a few different types of "loss" last week that at the moment I don't care to share with the wide world web but in due time I may decide to. One thing I did learn last week is I am really getting good at rolling with the punches. I don't really know if that is a good thing or not. I just feel like sometimes the world just throws so many at us that we have a tendency to want to fight back. I have to go back to my faith in God and learn in some instances to turn the other cheek. In other instances I am learning loss no matter how little it seems DOES hurt and it IS okay to grieve over it. I have learned that when God is ready for us to have another baby it will happen in HIS time not mine. He is the all powerful and all knowing and I need to remember that even when something is so close that it is sitting in your hand if God chooses to take it back it is because he is trying to teach me something that I don't understand at the time. After all this life is NOT mine it is his. It is his to live how he wants me to live and my body is HIS temple. This week I am working on better ME for HIM. Not for my own worldly needs or wants or for anyone else. In Christ Alone...

Motivate Me Monday: Getting Right In Hard Times

I actually received this in an email from someone I know last year so I can't claim it as my own but in this crazy world I often go back and refer to it. It reminds me that things are like they were. I am not one to walk around and say "these are the end times" but how do we really know? I think it is very similar to when bad weather is coming you get prepared...so in saying that we need to prepare ourselves because we don't know when the end is coming.

Dear Ones,

On June 27th and 28th 2008 I attended a conference in Atlanta called Deeper Still. Internationally known speakers Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer were there and I looked forward to a special time of worship and having God convict me of my sins and lead me to areas in my life where I need to change. I have been to similar conferences for years, although none this large and with so many well-known speakers. There were over 20,000 women in attendance at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta - they said it was the largest crowd ever. I had an idea of what to expect from the conference, but nothing prepared me for what actually happened. I feel led to share my experience with family and friends. This is important, so stay with me!

When Kay Arthur took the stage you could just tell that her spirit was heavy and there was a certain "heaviness" in the atmosphere even before she started to speak. She said that she had been literally physically sick to have to bring us this message and right out the gate she said, "We are in grave danger." She said that God had revealed to her that a literal famine is coming to America. Physical, not spiritual. She said that God is moving in judgment against our nation. I know I can't describe this well enough, but the atmosphere was ominous.

Kay is a seasoned speaker and she had to BATTLE to get through her message. She stumbled over scriptures and had an extremely difficult time. At times I was almost expecting her to collapse. At one point she just had to stop and pray. There was no person, myself included, that I could see who did not have tears streaming down their faces. As you may know, Kay Arthur is normally a very confident, composed speaker, but she was literally in a spiritual battle and it was taking place right before my eyes. I have never seen anything like it.

She went on to give 7 things that Christians must do during this time and I am going to give those to you now:

1. Jer 4:3- Break up the fallow ground- return to Me. Repent. Get on your face before God and ask him to break your heart with the things that break His heart.

2. Mourn- Jer. 9:17-18 and Ezekiel 9. It is time to weep because our nation's sin is incredible.

3. Pray- Jer 36:7- Pray fervently, passionately for America.

4. Love God's Word- Jer. 20. You MUST love the Word of God and be in the Word of God. I was particularly convicted here because I know I have not been as deeply in His Word as I need to be. She said we must get serious about this.

5. Love others as Jesus loved them. Jer. 31:3 and John 13:34.

6. Introduce people to Jesus Christ. It's time to get serious about this. This is no time for timidity. Jer 31:31; Jer 33:1-9 and 15 and 17.

7. Rest. If you will do these things, then rest in the fact that you have done God's will. She said that it is going to be vitally important for us to get enough physical rest.

She went on to say that God has not given us a spirit of fear and that if we are obedient to Him, we will be protected. She said to read Ezekiel 14 over and over until you understand it. This is what God will do if a country turns against Him.

She said that this is going to be a calamity (she used the word calamity in such a way that you knew this is going to be no small thing for our country), and gave many more scripture references, but what I have given you are the main points that she made.

I hope you know that I would not have sent this to you if I had not been profoundly affected by it and feel it is of great importance to share it. Thank you for taking the time to re ad this and I hope you will do with this information what you feel led by God to do.

OuT oF sHaPe...

Let me tell ya'll a (scary) true story. So Brian has a bike and Baylee does. Well the other day they are all like PPPUUUHHHLLLLEEEAAASSSSEEEE come ride with us. Baylee said you can even ride my bike b/c the seat is softer. I was like no no no no and then finally I was like FINE. UGH. I took my hand out of the powdered donut bag, licked my fingers, gulped down my WHOLE milk and put on my tennis shoes. Fine. Want. Me. To. Exercise. With. You. Fine. Hmm....I will show you.

So we start off good...seat a little uncomfortable (which is odd seeing how much padding I really DO have back there) but I go for it...pulling out of the driveway on two-wheels like the road queen....turned the corner and took off the back street behind my house..was doing good...patting myself on the back. I am awesome...this is not a problem. So then we approach the hill. I decide to get tricky and I stand up on the bike and start pedaling as fast as I could so I could make it up the hill. Got about ¾ of the way up and had to get off and walk. I was fine but just couldn't go any further. So I tell them (Brian running and Baylee on the other bike) go on I will catch up. Just give me a second. So I keep walking the bike. Well the further they got away from me and then out of my site the more I couldn't breathe.

...wwwwhhhheeeezzzzeeee....wwwwhhhhheeeeeezzzeeee...chest hurts can't hardly move but I know I am getting ready to go down a hill and I am like...okay...I got this. I make it to the top of the hill and jump on and WEEEEEEEEEEEE......all the way down to the bottom. I let the bike coast until I almost stop and then I have to jump back off. THEN I have to walk the bike the rest of the way. I made it the whole mile and ½ but couldn't hang on the bike the whole way. What is sad is they made it all the way back home and then WALKED and met me about 1/2 mile before I got to the house. Geesshh...talk about out of shape. Now I understand why people on the biggest loser literally get sick from working so hard sometimes...I sure almost did. Seriously. I mean I gotta do something about ALLL of this b/c I will die of a heart attack!!

WFMW: Soft Feet & Fixing Squeaks!

I have been a blog slacker this past week so I thought what better way to get back in the swing of things that participating in WFMW!! I actually have two for one this week considering I could not think of a THING last week! So here you go!!!

Soft Feet

I actually learned this one from my mom. When you don't have time to give yourself a good pedicure and/or go get one....you can rub Vaseline real good on your dry heals and put on a pair of socks and wear them while you are getting ready (and even in the car if you can) and right before you get to your "sandal/flip-flop" wearing event you take them off and your feet look good enough to last you for the whole day. I took this one step further. With the weather changing back and forth one day we wear flip-flops the next we wear socks/shoes. SO...I rub Vaseline on my heals and put on a pair of socks before bed.

Fixing Squeaks!

If you are like me you probalby can never find where your husband left the WD40. Well while my husband was deployed I was having trouble with the lock/key in the front door and of course I had NO idea where the WD40 was. I had a "light bulb" idea and decided to use cooking spray and *baam* worked like a charm. Since then anytime I have a squeaky door that needs a quick fix I pull out the cooking spray!