TTC #2

Well it is that time again!! Brian and I have one beautiful daughter - Baylee - she will be *gulp* 11 years old in April!! In the last 9+ years we haven't "prevented" pregnancy but we haven't exactly been trying either. Last year when Brian returned from deployment we decided (finally we were on the same page!) to ttc #2. We tried for several months until my grandmother passed away. We slacked off some for a few months and around the time we started back found out my SIL was pregnant. She is in her late 30's and being her first child I talked to my husband and we decided to wait until the first of the year tomorrow before we start ttc again. This gives her time to experience her first pregnancy without being compared to others. Also, my first pregnancy was hard as I didn't get to experience it with my "husband". My first husband was killed in a car wreck while I was pregnant with Baylee. My husband (now) adores Baylee and is in the process of adopting her. She adores him and knows she has one daddy in heaven and one on earth. After all, we have been together since she was 15 months old and he is the only daddy she has ever known. So back to the story - not only to give her time to enjoy her pregnancy but the same for us. This will be the first pregnancy that I would be able to share with someone and actually been my husbands first pregnancy to go through as well.

So - starting tomorrow Jan. 1st - we are back in the ttc challenge! Yes I DO mean challenge! Ha! I have always been irregular and was told by doctors that they were surprised I was even able to conceive Baylee. A couple of weeks ago I had a doctor's appointment that was very discouraging. Basically, I was told that they did not think I could conceive any more children. Some of it may be my weight but most of it is the fact that I have always had issued even when I was a size 5! Brian and I decided - doctors are NOT God. We are going to start this year out right. Getting in shape, bbt, vitamins, etc. Then we will go from there! We are going to try for about 6 months and after that point we will talk again and decide if we want to continue to try. Alot of it has to do with our kiddos will already be 11/12 years apart and we really don't want them to be any further in age.

More later...

Almost 2009

I for one cannot believe it is 2009 already (Well in a few days anyway)!! Yup...it is that time again...New Years Resolutions!! I can't say right off the top of my head that I have any. I have a lot of things I have been wanting to try to do and have already started to do. Just the usual:

* Lose Weight (Duh!)
* Organize my home & office (Already started!)
* Start our weekly family game night again
* Be more focused at work
* Stay in contact with my family and friends better

Like I said...just the usual. I don't know...maybe it will work, maybe it won't but I am trying anyway!!!

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Today Baylee left with her grandparents to go to Knoxville. I always dread her traveling so far away form me but I know she is in good hands. She will have a good time. She is going up to visit her great-grandfather and great-uncle. They are sweet and I wish I was going with her! :-) Though, I really don't have any time to take off of work. I enjoy that area of Tennessee so much. Brian and I went up and stayed in a cabin in the mountains with our very OWN indoor pool...right in the middle of the cabin. It was so nice and relaxing. A good time to relax, meditate, reflect, pray, etc.

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Brian has been working on his "baby" in our garage. I am SO ready for him to get finished with this truck but I really think there is FINALLY a light at the end of the tunnel!! For a birthday gift his dad has helped purchase over half of the things that he needs to get it going. He really is almost done with it and I am SOOOO glad. This truck has been an eye sore for 6 years now! I love him and even though that truck is SO ugly to me right now (and will be for sometime) it is his baby! Well as long as he is happy....and we don't have a car note....well then I am happy!

More Later...

Perplexed...

...about a friend of mine. I love her dearly but for some strange reason...just out of nowhere she stopped talking to me - I will refer to her as "new" friend. I have no idea why. She will talk occasionally but it is very short and sweet and USUALLY only when I contact her first. See I introduced her to my best friend - which I will refer to now as "first" friend. I just know they both need someone else other than me because I think friendships are important. For awhile all was fine but then just one day...nothing. Now my first and I still talk and hang out all the time. I thought well maybe new friend just had a lot going on (and the truth is the poor thing does! I don't know how she does it!). Yet, I find out that she IS talking to my first. I think this is great! I WANT them to be friends with others but I just don't understand why she ISN'T talking to me but she IS talking to others. I don't expect my friends to put me first over their other friends but I would like some sort of response. If I call, message and text and never hear from you then I am going to assume it is something I have done. I have asked and asked but she just keeps saying she is busy BUT not too busy to talk to my first but she IS too busy to talk to me? I don't get it and I KNOW there has to be a reason. Either you are mad, hurt or for whatever reason just have falling out of friendship feelings with me? I will be so sad either way but I would much rather someone just be honest and tell me what is up...even if things never change...than to make me wonder. I don't want her to think I am abandoning her either. I guess I am just going to be here if she needs me. I may wait until after the holidays and invite her to do something just the two of us and leave the ball in her court...that would give me my answer. I will always be here if she needs me but I can't keep chasing my tail in this friendship. :-(

Can I Get That Light For You?

Okay this is kind of silly. I am just sitting at work and I heard someone ask someone else...who is sitting in an office with floor to ceiling windows...do you want me to turn on that light for you? Well they have worked like that all day and I am SURE they know that there is a light in their office. Sometimes..headaches or for other reasons we just don't want the light on...AND THAT IS OKAY! As for me...I am definitely a NO light girl...or a natural light girl. Unless I really just can't see what I am doing you will never catch a light on in my house during the daytime hardley b/c I keep my windows open! I say all this to say...sometimes we just don't like the light. I know there are others that like every light in the house on...and that is okay, too. Just leave us "no florescent light" girls alone! LOL! :-)

Knowing Right from Wrong....

...but I still "emotionally" ride the fence. I have the "blahs" right now and I hope when I go to bed and wake up...AND THROUGH PRAYER...that the blahs are gone tomorrow. I dealt with a situation today that was rough. I was in a situation where I had to tell the truth and telling the truth is ALWAYS the right thing to do. I know I did the right thing and I know the outcome was right deep down in my heart and soul. I know what happen WAS God's will and through prayer it was a great thing. I just feel bad...as a Christian...for the other person that was adversly affected. What happend to the other person as a result of what they did they deserved. I just emotionally feel sad for the other person. They are lost and can't even see the wrong of their ways. I just hate the knot I have in my stomach right now.

I Got The "Go Go" In My Blood...

I don't know what my problem has been lately. I have just been in the mood to GO. Not so much go but just feel I don't know...adventurous...lets see what that means:

ad·ven·tur·ous
1. inclined or willing to engage in adventures; enjoying adventures.
2.full of risk; requiring courage; hazardous: an adventurous undertaking.

Yes that most definitely could be me. I don't know why I feel this way. I love my home. I love all my friends and family being close by. I love...okay like...my job most of the time. (Though I would love to go back to nursing school). I just have been in the mood to go! I almost want to move to another city...try out new things...etc. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing or if anyone of the people that might actually come by and read this has ever felt this way. I just want to GO. Seriously, if someone offered me the opportunity to pack up and move to a new city right now I would go. I just hate feeling this way because I feel like I am wishing my life away. It has gotten real bad though. Just today I found myself on the way home listening to the weather and news reports of OTHER cities in OTHER states on my XM radio...what is that all about?

All I can figure is it is summer. I am ready for vacation and maybe by the time I get home the "Go Go" feeling will be gone....hhhmmm.

...Lost & Found...

Yes I have been away for awhile now...almost a year! I missed it! No excuses as to why I haven't been around and there will be no promises about how often I will be here! HA! All I know is I am back for now! Stay tuned! :-)

January 2008 ~ Me Again!!!

Yup, it is that time of year again!!! Time for new years resolutions!! I had tried so hard to get down to a good size before Brian came home and just didn't get to where I wanted. I just kind of gave up. I have no idea why! Well now he is home and wants to get in better shape too so we are going to do it together! We will see how it goes. I am going to try real hard. Tomorrow will be a new day for me .... again .... HAHA! Traci you were a great inspiration seeing you at Christmas so that was encouraging, too. So tomorrow I will be at it again.

In the morning Brian and I are going to get up and start jogging. I have never really been a jogger so we are going to workup to one mile. Then when I can accomplish one mile then we will move up from there. I am going to try ... again ... to get my 8 glasses of water a day. We are going to the gym at night after work. I am going to attempt for now to do my slimfast for breakfast and for lunch. I am going to have two snacks through the day and then eat dinner with Brian and Baylee at night. So little baby steps but I really want this and have wanted it for YEARS now. I HAVE to do it. I have had some health problems lately and I want to get rid of those and get off my meds!

Then we have talked about going out west for our summer vacation. We were thinking Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and Royal Gorge. Kind of a road trip. You have to work up and get in better shape before do something like that b/c the altitude (I hear) will take your breathe away.

THEN one very BIG reason is we are going to TTC!! (Try to conceive!) I am already at a disadvantage b/c of my age and feminine problems...but then you add being overweight to it...well it makes it hard to get pregnant so I want to try my best to lose weight in order to do that as well!!!

Well I guess that is all for now! Just wanted to check in for 2008 and get a good start!! So here is to reaching our goals in 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!