Weighing in

Woohoo!

As of this morning I weigh..... 217.1 lbs!!! That's the lowest I have weighed in almost 2 years. It feels great!

Just an OK day

In life there is hardly anything that is black and white, there is always a little gray in between. So that is what this little guy is going to represent for me. I didn't do "bad" yesterday, but I wouldn't exactly say it was a "good" day either. I went about 90 calories over the 1400 per day that I had set for myself. Jen and I had our annual Christmas baking day. I started out with gum in my mouth so I wouldn't be tasting along the way, but the gum got old and I got rid of it about mid way through the baking. So I did taste a little bite here and there. I think I had 10 chocolate chips, 3 bites of the uncooked dough (= 1 cookie maybe?), 1 whole fresh, hot, out of the oven cookie and 1/2 of a tiny pecan tart. My estimate is probaby a little high, but I want to make sure I didn't blow it the rest of the day thinking I hadn't eaten too much, so I am estimating 500 calories. I think that is pretty close though after looking up the nutritional info for chocolate chips and a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie! That's crazy. It really showed me how much I really used to eat. I would have normally eaten 3 or 4 cookies, a couple of pecan pie tarts, 1 or 2 pieces of fudge and a closer to 1/2 cup of chocoate and peanut butter chips along the way. Which really doesn't sound like that is TOO much. I decided to see what the calories would have been in that instance. It would have been 1965 calories!! That is crazy. I have looked back at a typical day for me and I estimate that on a normal day I was eating atleast 2500-3000 calories a day and those were the days I felt like I had "behaved". On the other days, probably once a twice a week when I felt like I had blown it I was probably consuming close to 4500 calories. And then I would look in the mirror and ask myself "How did this happen"? Hello... you eat TOO much and you don't exercise! So now that I have finally woken up and I really see it on paper (or screen I guess), I really feel like it is going to change. Why it has taken this long? I think I have been in denial about how I eat. I would always say, I really don't eat that unhealthy, but I was thinking unhealthy in the sense that I don't have chocolate cake 3 times a day. I DID eat unhealthy everyday, not just a couple of times on "special occasions. You first have to acknowledge that you really do have a problem. So here it goes.... Hi, my name is Traci and I'm an unhealthy overeater!

I have never kept track of calories on any other "diet. I've always counted carbs, proteins, and fat - but NEVER kept track of calories. Regardless of all that other stuff, it's mostly about your body and how many calories it burns. As long as you burn more than you eat, you WILL lose weight. Even if your whole day only consists of 1 huge piece of chocolate cake that had 1100 calories and 80 grams of fat. As long as you burn more than that on that day, you will get rid of those calories. Is it healthy? No, but that IS how it works. It can still clog arteries, give you high blood pressure, etc...but it won't make you gain weight. Weight Watchers is the closest thing that I have done to counting calories, but honestly with those points, I think it's decieving. Those numbers are so low (around 20-30) so if you have 2 points to many it doesn't seem like much, however those 2 tiny points could contain 2 to 3 hundred calories. Now I understand why WW didn't work for me. I always allowed myself an extra point or 2 and never felt guilty about it. So I guess I say all that to say that I really like keeping track of the calories. I feel in control of it for once. I'm not watching carbs or proteins, but I am making low fat choices when the option is there (i.e. low fat cheese, skim milk, lowfat yogurt, etc). It has become a numbers game for me. I guess that's the finance analyst in me. It's like a budget. As long as I spend (eat) less than in my budget and I put a little back in everyday (exercise) I will profit. (lose weight) !!

B - 500 calories from baking day
L - Low fat Pepperoni Hot Pocket - 300
D - Grilled Chicken Breast - 231
Side Salad with cheese, bacon, and creamy herb dressing - 360
S - 1 Pkg of Right Bites Chocolate Chip Cookies - 100

Total Calories - 1491

Exercise - does shopping at the mall while pushing a 40 lb stroller for 2 hours and then doing an hour of grocery shopping with a kid in the cart count as exercise?? I would say YES! According the the site, I burned approximately 800 calories. It would take me 2 hours to burn that on the treadmill

Water - only 30 little ounces - the rest of the day consisted of about 60 ounces of unsweet tea

Weigh in is tomorrow... I can't weight (ha)

Good and Bad days

I thought it would be cute to use the images below on the post that we talk about how our day or week went as far as what we ate and how much we exercised. One would represent a good day and the other a bad. I will be doing mine daily. If you like the idea I will email you the images.

We Can Do It!

I still don't have the book and DVD!!!! What's up with that? Do you have yours?? I went to the site to see if I could check the status and it doesn't recognize any of my 4 email addressess. I know I would of had to have used one of them??



Here is my calorie intake for the day:
B - Whole Grain Fig Newton Bar - 130
L - went to a banquet for lunch, so this is all estimated using the foods as listed on www.calorieking.com
1/2 Chicken Breast - 230
Snap Peas - 50
1/2 c Scalloped potatoes - 100
S - 1 and 1/2 Hershey's Treasure Miniatures - 94
S -1 Miniature Candy Cane - 15
D - Low Fat Pepperoni Hot Pocket - 310
S - 1/2 of 1 Little Debbie Nutty Bar - 78
Total Calories - 1007

Water - 55 oz

Exercise - 20 minutes of resistance training using the fitness ball

It's been a good day and I even got to eat chocolate. I am amazed at how many calories are in 1 little piece of chocolate!! I need to work on my water tomorrow though!!

I have another Banquet tomorrow night and there is supposed to be a ton of food. I'm gonna down some water before I go and I'll have Bobby there with me, if I need a little nudge!

We can do this!!

So far...

Well although we don't have our books or tapes yet, I started eating healthy and doing my treadmill for now. I'm going to start posting what I eat and total calories for each day.
I don't remember all the way to Monday (I swear my memory is slipping ....fast) , but I'm going to list Tuesday and Wednesday and then I'll post each day going forward.

Tuesday - South Beach Bar 140, no lunch - I was too busy at work for lunch (not good...I know), a whole grain Fig Newton Bar 130, Baja Chicken from On the Border 830 (good thing I skipped lunch) & 90 ounces of water = 1100 Calories

Wednesday - Whole Grain Fig Newton Bar 130, Nutrisystem Entree (left from my NS days) 270, South Beach Bar 140, 10 mini marshmallows 22, 8 oz serving of Shrimp Alfredo 300, 1 small dinner roll w/o butter 110 & 80 ounces of water = 972 Calories

I walked on the treadmill for 25 minutes both nights - 157 calories burned each time (estimated) I used the following website to determine the calories burned, because the one on my treadmill doesn't take my weight into consideration. The website has some other really great things (other calculators, forums, and food lists) .. and it's free!

http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index.html

It calculates the same BMR as what I have listed in my first post, but then the site goes on to explain that the BMR calculates resting energy (basically when you are asleep) It then shows you based on your activity level what your BMR actually is. The calcualted sedentary (because I sit at a desk most of the day) RMR (more accurate than BMR - the site explains) for me is 2226 calories. It also allows you through a huge list of daily activities so that you can get an even better idea. It's got everything from getting dressed to butchering animals!! It's a huge list! You can pretty much go through your whole day each day and choose everything you did that day. I'll post mine. They are out of order from when they occur each day, but you'll get the idea. I didn't quite hit a 24 hr day either, I'm a half hour short. Using that I see that my RMR is actually more like 3,491. It then allows you to figure your calorie deficit. To reach my mini goal on 1/15/06, my deficit is 737 calories. So if I go with the latest RMR, then I need to eat 2,754 calores a day! That seems high, so for now I'm going with the calculated RMR and my calories I should consume is 1489. I'm going with a 1400 calorie diet. So hopefully I will lose a little more than what I want by my mini goal date.

PS: What day do you thing we should use as our weigh in day?? Monday morning maybe? I think they will help me stay on track better on the weekends.


Totals: 3,491 calories in 23 hr 27 min

Kissing - light
8 calories in 5 min
Hugging - light
8 calories in 5 min
Food - preparing, at home
124 calories in 30 min
Eating - sitting
161 calories in 1 hr 5 min
Child Care - bathing, sitting
21 calories in 5 min
Hairstyling - self care
41 calories in 10 min
Applying Makeup (self care)
33 calories in 10 min
Walking - 3.5 mph
157 calories in 25 min
Grooming - personal care
33 calories in 10 min
Watching - TV or movie
199 calories in 2 hr
Child Care - play, sitting, light
124 calories in 30 min
Child Care - grooming, standing
10 calories in 2 min
Cleaning - multiple household tasks, light
83 calories in 20 min
Driving - light vehicle (e.g., car, pick-up)
66 calories in 20 min
Office Work - desk work
1,609 calories in 9 hr
Driving - light vehicle (e.g., car, pick-up)
33 calories in 10 min
Showering (self care)
33 calories in 10 min
Dressing and Undressing
33 calories in 10 min
Sleeping
715 calories in 8 hr

History of Eggnog

Well Hello! Happy Friday to everyone! Can't stay long just wanted to tell you all hello! This will be my last post until Monday! Busy day at work! We are having an office Christmas party! Yeah! Then tomorrow one of my friends and I are throwing a "Christmas Party" for all of our friends. We have been planning this for months and I am so excited! We have a lot of little loose ends to tie up before then but everything is coming together nicely!

Have a great weekend!

R.I.P. Snowman!

So how is everyone today? I have been terribly busy and have not had alot of time to post! I have something going JUST ABOUT every day between now and New Years! I am sure most of you all are the same way! I will stop into say "hello" and do quick updates but most of my post in the near future will probably consist of Christmas Cartoons! Gotta Love Them!

Have A Good Day!

Kids These Days!

Before "Face Shot"

What is sad about this picture is we tried SO hard and took so many "test" shots in order to keep them from looking like "fat" pictures! I can't wait until we can take one and like it on the first try!

Getting Started

So here is the short of my story. I have pretty much always been "chubby". I was a cute tiny baby, so I know that cute and tiny is in here somewhere. I just have to find it. My first memory of me considering myself as fat is as a teenager. Before that I just don't ever think I thought about it. I don't even remember weighing myself until I was at least 16 or 17. I maintained at 180 for several years, but then I got married and had a baby and now here I am only 5 years after the days of 180 at 221! That's 41 lbs in 5 years, almost 9 lbs a year. At this rate I'll weigh 300 lbs by the time I'm 38 yrs old. The thought of that has my head spinning. I cannot, WILL NOT let that happen. I actually gave Nutri System a try back in August. I lost 11 lbs after 4 weeks and have managed to keep all but 2 of that off. I just got so bored of eating their food.

Tiffany and I have talked about our longing to lose weight for so long, I think we have both realized that we aren't getting any younger and there is no better time than the present. So here we are, supporting each other through this journey. We WILL do this, we HAVE to.

I am posting my goal virtual model below. Notice that my second goal is to weigh 180 lbs.....before I get pregnant. My husband and I have been wanting to have a baby for the last 6 months or so, but with my weight like it is, I just can't allow it right now. So even though 180 is not ultimately where I want to end up, it's the weight I which I am comfortable getting pregnant. This is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change, so even once I am pregnant, I will continue to eat healthy and may even continue to lose fat, just not wieght due to the baby and fluid. After the pregnancy I will lose what I have gained and continue to my final goal of 160. I don't want to be a supermodel, I don't even have to be considered skinny, but I do want to be healthy and 160 is much healthier than where I am today. Last time I was pregnant I gained 25 lbs and lost all of it within 4 weeks (17 the day he was born). So hopefully after birth, I will be right around 180 where I started. Then I would like to lose another 20 over the next few months. So in summary, (if all goes as planned, babywise) I would like to lose a total of 61 lbs by April 1st 2007. Now that's some long range planning!! It seems a little far fetched even to me right now as I write, but the goals I have written above are attainable...now it's just up to me to follow them through.


Current Stats as of 12/06/05

Weight: 221.2
BMI: 35.7
BMR: 1779.20
Hips: 51 inches
Waist: 46 inches

My Story: Tiffany

I am Tiffany. My cousin Traci and I started this site (mainly her idea!) to help us be able to go through the "weight loss" process together. This site is mainly for our use but if you stumbled across it - that is okay too! Most of my post will be directly to her or mainly about my feelings, struggles & accomplishments day to day. Here is my story:

I have just about always struggled with my weight. I have not always been obese like I am now but I have always had to work to keep that extra 5, 10, 20 lbs off that most people can do without blinking an eye! Mine started around puberty and it seems like it just hasn't stopped! I was average weight (which by today's standards is probably chubby to some) until about ninth grade. All through high school my weight fluctuated. Up and down and up and down. It seems like I was on a constant weight roller coaster.

Well marriage and child birth took its toll on me! I am now considered obese. Severly obese. In the days to come I will give you my stats and will be posting before and hopefully soon - after pictures!

Today I am waiting on my "Biggest Loser" book and DVD to come in. That is the "life change" that I am going to try. I really enjoyed how the show took just normal people and showed them how to lose weight by regular methods - food and exercise!

By the end of the week I will have actual "before" photos up. I plan on updating those every two weeks. I will also set a weekly goal beginning on Mondays. Other than that I am going to play it by ear. I want this to be somewhere I can come and share exactly what I am feeling and exactly what I am going through.

My Stats as of today:

Height: 5 ft 5 inchs
Weight: 258
BMI: 42.9 Obese
BMR: 1947.70

BODY MASS INDEX (BMI)Your BMI or "Body Mass Index" helps to assess overweightness or obesity using individual weight and height ratios. BMI does not measure body fat. Depending on your calculated BMI you can gauge whether you are undeweight, overweight, or obese for others in your weight/height range. Info obtained from: Biggest Loser Website

BASAL METABOLIC RATE (BMR); This calculator will assess your Basal Metabolic Rate, which is fancy talk for the number of calories you naturally burn. Or, another way to look at it, is the number of calories you'd burn if you stayed in bed and slept all day. A person's BMR decreases as they age, meaning you need to be more active to burn the same amount of calories that you naturally burned at a younger age. The BMR calculator uses height, weight, age and gender to determine your resting calorie count. Info obtained from: Biggest Loser Website

Our Fellow Bloggers & Weekend Things!

First and foremost I would like to mention these two things:

Bombadil & Goldberry have welcomed a precious little bundle of joy into the world! Stop by and see the pictures and wish them luck!!

Sallie one of my dear blog friends has been dealing with a death in her family. Her father passed on so if you know her or would like to send her some encouragement through this time I know she would appreciate it!

Weekend Things

I had a very good weekend! I very rarely get company at my house - I guess because I live so far out or either that the hubby and I usually are the ones that go around and visit. WELL my friend Jessica and her two children came over around 11:00 a.m. on Saturday. We caught up on some DVR'd Oprah shows, some cooking shows and then made lunch. After that we loaded all the kids in the car and went to the grocery store. We went back to my house and I cooked a baked spaghetti recipe that I got from my cousin Traci (which is yummy!). We played some games and watched several movies. All and all it was a great time and I really enjoyed it!!

Sunday my mom came to my house where I reheated the baked spaghetti for lunch. We then went out to do some Christmas shopping and were gone about 6 hours or so! We never do that so my legs were KILLING me when I got home. I tried another new recipe for dinner - which was yummy - moved some furniture around and then went to bed! Over the weekend I talked to my friends Brooke & Carla two or three times and got to visit briefly with one of my neighbors. We have been so busy lately that I felt so out of touch but I am feeling much better now.

This week I have a lot I need to catch up on at work and I have to get ready for a Christmas party that my friend Carla and I are throwing. I am SO excited!

Well that is all of my "ramblings" for now! Hope you all have a good day!

Templates...UGH!!...How Did YOU Learn HTML?

So I have been working on my "template" and I will say - I am not very good at this! I am impressed at my "little bit" of knowledge but I feel well - dumb - while trying to do HTML!! Like I should just KNOW this stuff! Some of you blogspot/blogger people have the cutest blogs! (Not that the others don't but just comparing apples to apples!)

Where did you go to learn how to really use HTML and to change your blog templates???

Dog Tired!!

WHEW! I am DOG TIRED this afternoon!! I have been running and going at work and at home for days now!

AT WORK
As paralegals we have to meet a certain number of hours each year. I have taken work home at night and on the weekends to make sure I do that. On top of doing that I have been trying to get alot of things more "organized" and more easily accessible. I enjoy doing it but it wears you out! I have gotten alot done but still much more to do! I am just glad that I have such a good job and work with such great people!

AT SCHOOL
I am taking a night class and it seems like every time I turn around we have some kind of project to do! I have to meet my group tonight to go over our project for tomorrow night. THANK GOODNESS - we only have two or three more classes this semester!!

AT HOME
I have gotten all of my Christmas decorations up and 95% of my presents bought, wrapped and under the tree! I am trying to clean out closets and do "holiday" cleaning but it seems like when you finish one thing there is another to do! My cousin and I are working on a little "web project" and we have made ourselves a deadline of Friday so I have that to do!!

THOUGHTS IN GENERAL

~I have picked up SO much trash that people have left around the office today. I don't know why but that drives me NUTS! People - pick up your trash.

~I really wish this weather will make up its mind. I wear a jacket in the morning, it is hot at lunch and cool again at night. It was like 50 something today but then I think this weekend it is supposed to be in teh 70's.

~I need a nap.

Thanksgiving Pictures!!

I had gotten tired of seeing that "aggravated" post so I decided to move along to something more "cheerful"! My trip to Arkansas was great! We had an awesome time. The kids played dress-up and were our entertainment the whole time!


Traci and I mainly just "hung out" and caught up on things!

Our hubbies probably had the most relaxing time of all - as you can see!

Hope each of your holidays were just as great!

Random Thoughts!

Well I have been sick for over a week now coughing my fool head off!! I actually have not felt bad but once I started coughing I could not stop!! That made me miserable and made my head hurt! I went through two bottles of robitussun (sp?) cough and about a bag of cough drops and things did not change any! I stayed home Monday due to my daughter and myself both being sick. I went in Tuesday to work but coughed all day and made myself (and probably everyone else!) miserable! Finally, Wednesday I went to the doctor only to find out that I had bronchitis! Yuck! So they gave me a shot in the "rear end" - in which my 7 year old was there to witness and got way too much pleasure out of! Ha! Then they gave me three prescriptions. I began taking them and the coughing subsided a good bit but I have been nauseous and tired ever since I started taking them! I found out nausea is one of the side of effects along with drowsiness! I haven't had real good rest in a while so I was hoping I could sleep those side effects off. No such luck so far.

Well we left Wednesday night to drive to Arkansas to visit my cousin/one of my best friends and her family. We left alot later than I hoped because due to our hectic schedule lately and the fact that I have been sick and dealing with family issues (that is a whole other post!) I have not been a very good house keeper. When we left I left a HUGE pile of dirty clothes in my bathroom, a huge pile of blankets I need to wash and some dishes that were rinsed and set in the sink that I needed to load in my dishwasher. I am telling you it is hard to pack and leave your home in such a wreck but I did! I have really got to get on it when I get back. I have so much organizing I need to do. I am getting several new furniture pieces during the holidays and I am repainting much of my house so I need to get some things cleaned up and out of the way first!! I would like to get my Christmas decorations up as soon as we get back from Arkansas on Sunday afternoon but that depends on how tired I am. Getting back to my "travel" story...I will have to drive most of the way home my husband informed me due to the fact that he drove all but 30 minutes of our 8 hour trip up! We left Wednesday night and drove about five hours to Little Rock, spent the night and then drove in to my Aunts house Thursday morning. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner and I was so glad to see my family. We usually see each other a couple times a year but we have not seen each other since last Christmas due to both theirs and our hectic schedules. I love my cousin so much - as I mentioned above - even though most of our lives (that I can actually remember!) we have lived in two different states she is my closet cousin and one of my best friends. We laugh because we are so much alike. We call ourselves "clones"! Ha! Her mom is so cool and it is funny she doesn't treat me like most Aunts treat their nieces she is really more like "another" mother figure when we are around. She was always the cool Aunt growing up. I was thinking when I was looking at her today how she does not look like she has aged at all.

Traci's little boy Brayden is SO cute. He is now 4 years old which is SO hard for me to believe! He just cracks me up because from the time we walked in the door at my Aunts house until the time they went to bed at 9 something p.m at my cousins he talked NON STOP!!! I just laughed and laughed. I have never seen a little boy talk so much! It is way too cute!

As tired as I have been all day and as early as we went to bed (9 something also) I woke up about 12:30 a.m. and have been up ever since. It is about 2:o6 a.m. now. I got up folded a load of clothes and due to the fact that I was burning up (I don't know why either because I checked the thermostat and it is not hot in here!) and couldn't go back to sleep I decided to catch up on some email, blog reading and blog posting - hence, the really long drawn out post!

Traci, her mom and I are going to do some shopping in the morning so I should really get back to bed soon! I don't know if I will be buying anything though. Probably just browsing. I have about 95 percent of my Christmas shopping already done and wrapped and waiting to go under the tree once I get it up!

I guess I will go for now! I hope everyone had as great of a Thanksgiving as I did.

Thanksgiving Plans??

Well does anyone have any Thanksgiving plans? My family (daughter & hubby) and I are going to Arkansas to see my cousin Traci. Actually we will be seeing my Aunt, Uncle, Cousin David, his wife Tanda, Traci, her husband Bobby and their son Brayden. I say Traci because she is one of my best friends and I am so, so, so, so, so...did I mention so...excited to see her! We usually see each other several times a year and I try to go up on Thanksgiving but was not able to go last year and it has just worked out that we haven't seen each other since last Christmas and won't see each other this Christmas! I am sad about that!! However, I am so excited (did I mentioned that already?) to go see her now!! I don't know if anyone has been in Bentonville or Bella Vista Arkansas. I tell you what - it is beautiful up there! I absolutely love it. I need a break and so does my family so we are looking forward to it!! If anyone is traveling over the holidays I hope you have a safe trip!!

Happy Anniversary to Me!!

Me and my hubby Brian had been married 5 years today! Yeah!! I am a plain jane kinda girl and I got to pick out my engagment ring. I picked out a small diamond with channel set diamonds on the side. For our wedding band I just picked out a plain gold wedding band. WELL for our anniversary the hubby gave me a channel set diamond band to match my wedding ring! It looks exactly like my wedding ring except for my wedding ring has the big diamond sitting up on the middle of my ring. Anyway - I am very very proud of him! He knows what I want! So now I am "bling bling" in a small kind of way with my 18 small diamonds and one larger one. One of my friends told him that after 5 more years he better add some more diamonds! Ha! I will say he is good about getting this sort of thing. I am always trying to get him to get me costume jewelry but OH NO. He doesn't want to do that! Last year I got a cross necklace with a diamond in the middle and the year before that I got diamond earrings and a diamond solitare necklace. The boy can shop!

Women Conserve Energy! Use Eco-Bra!

In Japan this winter the new rage will be the "Eco-Bra". This bra has eco-safe padding that you heat up in the microwave and then you wear this contraption to keep your "boobies" warm. Yup - you got it - keeping your girlie goods warm. Not only does it keep your girlie goods warm but it has a long "tail" that you can use to wrap around your neck as a scarf. I believe I read that it will also come with a pair of shorts. Strange stuff. This is suppose to help conserve energy by making woman warming up their girlie goods and therefore they won't need to use the heat? Well what about the rest of your body. I tell you what my girlie goods are the last thing that gets cold! I think they should spend more time on - you know - anything other than keeping select "body parts" warm. Sheesh!

Here We Go Again!!!

I am back!! How has everyone been? Life has become a little less crazy and I have become a little more organized so I decided to venture back into the "blog world"! I have stopped in occasionally to everyones sites but never long enough to leave a message. So some things have changed since I have last talked to everyone:

1. Life (like I said above!) has become a little less crazy so I have more free time to blog now!

2. Traci (another author - my cousin - from the "old" Mind Diversion) and I created a website for our family to use since most of us live so far apart and don't have time to talk as often as we like. That address - Ivey Family - is on my sidebar. We don't have it up and going yet but we will introduce our family to it over the holidays and hopefully have it up and going soon!!

3. I like this site to be about my "vents", news and little funny things so we (Brooke, Jessica and I - both of them other authors from the old "Mind Diversion") also created a "mommy site" where I talk about strictly "mommy type things". If you are a mother (or even a father!) and want to stop by that link is also on my sidebar. There is not much on the blog yet but it will be soon - us mommies have alot to say!

4. Brooke of course has her own site which many of you already know about. You can check it out over on my sidebar!

5. Traci will be starting another site and I will have it up on my side bar soon!!

6. Jessica - who knows - she may or may not start another site but for now she is just on the Mommy Site with Brooke and I. She has a new arrival at home and I think he keeps her pretty busy!!

SO that is kind of what is going on! I kept a short list of my main site reads from the old Mind Diversion and I will be stopping in on everyone occasionally! I just have to put my family and job first - the of course blogging comes in third!! Hope to talk to you all soon!