Visualization Technique

Thanks for the star. Recognition feels good. You didn't do too bad either considering you didn't realize what I had written. You will do even better today though!!

This morning when I got to work I was faced with 2 boxes of Krispy Kremes (we've seen this battle before) and a container of homemade chocolate cupcakes. I turned my nose up in disgust and walked away. When I looked at them I visualized them covered in sticky, nasty, oozing yellow fat, nice thought I know - but it worked. Now the thought of them makes me want to gag. So now I just have to picture that every single time I walk into the kitchen today.

By the way, I stopped on the way to work and got a skinny hot chocolate with no whip cream. I figured that wasn't too bad, but according to Calorie King it still has 272 calories, only 88 calories less than the whole milk one. I was shocked. I guess it's the chocolate. So that will be my last one of those for a while. I guess I'll stick to my coffee with splenda.

Motivational thought for the day:

You are only as weak as you allow yourself to be. Don't allow it.

Tiff's Monday 12/04/06

Wow! You did great!!!!! This is for you!!!!!

This is your star for your first big step towards a new you!! I am proud of you girl!!! You did awesome! I definitely could have been better!! I should have read your post BEFORE I went to work - see we do help each other! I had read it I would have been more prepared and more motivated. I am going to plan 15 minutes of me time every morning to check on your post and update from the day before!

B - (Kinda not really a breakfast but ate this before I read your post!) Dr. Pepper - 150; 6 cheese straws 282

L - Sweet tea - 120; garden salad - 200

S - 3 chocolate covered pretzels - 150

D-Dr. Pepper 150; 4 tacos - 680 calories

1732 Calories with no water and no exercise! Yikes!

We have said our spills so it is time to get with it! I am motivated, dedicated and hard core! Lets go, lets go!! I am logging off of this computer and I am going to get myself ready for tomorrow - the first day of my new life!! :-)

Monday 12/05/06

B - Lower Sugar Oatmeal - 100
L - Salad with Chicken breast and viniagrette - 240
S - Yogurt - 100
S - Cheese cubes - 80
D - White beans with ham - 275 (guessing based on calorie king)
D - Cornbread Twist - 140
S - SF Jello - 10

Calories - 945
Water - 75oz
Exercise - 30 minutes on the treadmill

One down, a lifetime to go...

Amen

Your post was great. Exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. We can't go on like this. I've done really well today. I've actually probably not eaten enough, but what I've eaten has been healthy. I've already had 48 ounces of water and I brought my gym bag to work so that I can go on the way home.

How have you done today??

I'm not sure what we are doing for dinner. I need to start planning more. I end up going home and having to figure something out at the last minute. It's usually something quick and not to healthy. My goal is to plan each weeks dinner on that Sunday. That Dr. Oz book I was telling you about has some good soup recipes in it. I think I will start making a a batch on one each Sunday, so that I have something to eat on those nights that take out is the only option. I want to change Bobby and Brayden's eating habits too, but I need to get mine in line first. Once I get it down, I'll work harder at changing the way they eat too, at least at dinner time. I can post the recipes if you want me to.

Hope you are having a great day!

Preach On Sister!!

Wow Traci, your last post “1 Year Ago” got me teary eyed, too! You are so right! I weighed the other morning and I am 261 (4 pounds less than I thought I was a couple of days ago BUT 3 pounds heavier than I was when we started this thing a year ago!) The bad thing is – we BOTH lost weight but here we are again right back at it. Why are we programmed this way? Why do we get aggravated when we see people doing other things (drinking, smoking, gambling, etc.) when the truth of the matter is we are hurting ourselves just as much by eating. Like we always say though – it does through in the curve ball. EVERYONE has to have food for nutritional purposes. You just can’t quit eating like you can quit smoking, etc. We just need to figure out WHY we eat like we do. We need to start learning to “eat to live” and NOT “live to eat”. They way I figure it if we keep on like we are doing – even if it is gaining a few pounds a year I will be pushing 300lbs in the next 5 or 10 years and you will be in the 250 to 275 range. Is that what we want? NO! We don’t even want to be where we are so we just have to STOP NOW!!!

I came across this website that said these days what some calculators and charts consider to be “ideal weight” is not actually true and it is outdated information. I am not sure of your height but I did it based on 5 ft 5 inches.

Traci: 5’5” @ 224
Based on this information your ideal weight is 161
Medically Recommended: 114 to 150

Tiffany: 5’5” @ 261
Based on this information my ideal weight is 172
Medically Recommended: 114 to 150

If you take each of our weights and use the highest medically recommended weight (150) you are 74 pounds over and I am 111 pounds over. You are considered morbidly obese when you are at least 100 pounds over this weight. I am over by 11 pounds and you are only 26 pounds away. MORBIDLY obese. Just in case we have forgotten this is the definition of “morbid”:

mor·bid –adjective

1.suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.: a morbid interest in death.

2.affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.

3.pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy.

4.gruesome; grisly.

Did you get that? The ones that stood out the most to me were “unhealthy mental state or attitude” and “gruesome; grisly”. In every day life would we want someone to call us this? No. So why is it okay when it comes to our weight?

I remember one time when I was probably in junior high me and one of my friends went to a local water park with her parents. My friend and I were sitting around with some people from another school (that didn’t know my friend and her family) and my friends parents walked by and her dad was very overweight. One of the other girls made a comment “That is just wrong. They should let people like that in here.” My friend never said anything and neither did I but the hurt and embarrassment was written all over her face! I will never forget that. I don’t want my daughter to have to EVER deal with that. Most importantly I don’t want to have to deal with the side effects and diseases my weight has and will cause me! Why would I want to do that to myself??

We can do this and we will do this!! This will be a brand new day for sure! I know we haven’t stuck to our diets or even this blog like we should but just imagine if we didn’t have this blog at all…we might not even be having the reality check we are having now. We could hide the fact that we have tried so long…but with this blog we can’t. We need this and we need each other. We have said this a hundred times but I mean it this time….WE CAN do this!!!

1 Year Ago...

I realized this weekend, that we started this blog exactly one year ago. It was a very depressing realization. According to my first post, I should be enjoying my new skinny body by now. I should be way below the 180 mark and sitting here in my size 10's or less and writing about how great I feel. But I'm not...instead I'm sitting her in my snug size 18's feeling depressed. I'm sitting here thinking about how sad it is that as of today I'm actually 3 lbs more than my "official weigh in" (221) at this time last year. I feel like such a failure. Why can't I get a grip?? Why can't I just stop putting all the crap in my mouth. If I had cancer and they had pills that made it worse, would I be poppin them like candy? No, but that's exactly what I'm doing. My risk of heart disease, diabetes, breast cancer and most other medical conditions gets higher with every single unhealthy bite I take. I can't continue to do this....I can't. I DON'T want to be writing a year from now about how I didn't do it.... again. By then I want to have written the post that says "yea, we finally did it", we are healthy and we look fabulous". Tiff, I know you want this more than anything and so do I... girl it's time we really do it. It's time to take control of our lives not for our husbands or our kids... but for us. I'm crying as I write this because I hate it...I hate it for both of us. I'm sad for both of us. I, more than anyone truly know what you are going through and I know you feel the same emotions I feel when it comes to weight. I hate that we have to go through this, but at least we have each other. No matter what, I know that you are absolutely the one person that will understand and encourage me without judging me. I love you for that. Let's do this, let's really do it. I'm going to try my hardest to encourage you everyday, to motivate you and remind you about why we have to do this and I want you to do the same. I love you and I want us to do this...I want you to do this. We need to do this. We HAVE to do this.

Weekly Recap

Well I haven't been keeping track of my intake for the last couple of days but I can say they haven't been stellar - not horrible, but I could have done better. Tueday I did pretty good except for some M&M's. Then came Wedneday, I did good during the day, but I had a Taco Bell Taco Salad for dinner, with extra sour cream. Then Bobby left to get a milkshake and I had him stop at Sonic and get me an order of their new Cheesecake Bites. There were only 3, but I'm sure 3 pieces of fried cheescake took me off the charts for the evening. Oh and I had 2 handfuls of Crunch N Munch at work. Thursday wasn't good either ... I started off with 2 breakfast lean pockets (they are much smaller than regular, but still), 2 PB cookies , about 20 M&M's, I then had to go pick Brayden up from school because it was sleeting and snowing. I had a Swiss Cake Roll & an apple for lunch and then I made cookies. I ate 4 of those. We had breakfast for dinner which for me consisted of 1 biscuit loaded with homemade sausage gravy and about 3 eggs. I topped all that off with a big glass of chocolate mik. Oh and I had one last cookie before bedtime. So, that brings us to today....I'm at home again because of the weather. I've had a big bowl of Honey Smacks. The plan is to have soup for lunch and an apple for a snack and nothing else until dinner. Dinner will be Mushroom Alfredo Tortellini, but if I only eat one portion that's only 200 calories. So I'm putting the past few days behind me and starting again.


BTW, I didn't have electrolysis, I had laser removal done. I went for 3 sessions and should have gone for about 4 more. It lessened it, but it's not completely gone.

I Woke Up In The Morgue

I was surfing the television the other night and I came across a show called "I Woke up In The Morgue". Did anyone else get the privilege of seeing this show? I tell you what it was some scary stuff! These people had a condition called catalepsy. Basically, they would just pass out and have no signs of life but they could feel and hear everything that was going on around them. One lady got taken to a morgue THREE different times because they thought she was dead!!! I would FREAK out. This lady was completely conscious of where she was and what was going on and one day was out for THREE days closed in a dark room with dead bodies. It is amazing the kinds of conditions people can have that we don't even know about. I told my husband I wonder how many people were embalmed or buried alive because of this condition. This is SO scary to me! The thought of it! Yikes!!

Thursday Stats 11/30/06

Well I didn't eat so well today but I definitely went down LOTS of calories from the past couple of days (especially since I was home again today with Baylee!!) and I plan on keeping it up!! I need to go back and look at your old post about calories and do some research to decide what is a good amount of calories for me. I am still having a hard time with the water and exercise. One thing at a time though. Let me tackle this food demon first! I am REALLY trying to do it without any kind of pill!

Here are my stats:


2 pop tarts - 400 calories
Baked cheetos - 130 calories
Frozen pepporoni pizza 2 slices - 400
24 oz whole milk - 439
1 can dr. pepper - 150
Hamburger Helper - 175
1694 Calorie Total

Exercise - None but some house cleaning!! (Which is better than past days!!)
Water - 16 ounces

Fatville or Bust!! 11-29-06

That is definitely the way I am heading! I don't have much to say about the way I ate today. It is just a shame.

Mexican for lunch
KFC for dinner
No Exercise
No Water

I am going nowhere but fatter and doing that fast!!!

What is my problem? I tell you one thing I think it is. My house is an absolute WRECK. It is so bad I don't even like going into the kitchen so it is just easier to eat out!! Then at lunch I am so ready to get out of the office it is not funny. WHY do I have to eat the way I do!!! WHY!!!! So I am hoping tomorrow will be better. Like I said I am going to continue to be honest on here everyday in hopes that it will help. To be honest it has some because the thought of seeing everythingI have eaten in writing makes me not want to eat for the rest of my life!! HAHA!

*SIDE NOTE*
How did your electrolysis ever go? You know I got it done once without alot of difference. Mine is worse than yours though and would take FOREVER to do that way. I made a consultation to get the laser hair removal done. I go one December 15th for my consult. It cost $50 for that visit but that will be applied towards my cost of treatment if I decide to do it. I don't know how much the treatments will cost yet. This is one thing that I am really, really, really self conscious about - probably even more so than the weight. I REALLY hope this will be an answer to my prayers. I don't know that it is permenant and I might have to go back a couple of times a year but if it is not too expensive it will be better than having to shave once - sometimes twice a day!! I will keep you updated!

I Must Be Insane

I am attempting to lose weight in the midst of all of these holidays. What oh what is a girl to do? Any weight loss suggestions??

Tiff's 11/28/06

Sound I have decided I am working really hard to make each day be seperate (except for Sat & Sun - I haven't decided if I will do those seperate or together). So in saying that here is my post from yesterday 11/28/06.

I BLEW it. Baylee and I weren't feeling well yesterday and stayed home. Needless to say, I ate everything I could get my hands on. I could lie about what I ate but the purpose of this is to be honest and to help me understand why I am FAT! This is why:

I ate:

3 pieces of ham w/cheese
2 frozen burritos
Pop-tarts - lost count 2, 3, 4 or 5 WHO KNOWS!
Cheese sticks from sonic
Tots from Sonic with Chili and Cheese
6 or so onion rings from sonic
20 oz Dr. Pepper
1 Red Pop Faygo drinks
2 cups of milk
1/2 of a Peach Faygo drink

OH MY!!! I mean that is THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of calories!!!

NO EXERCISE AND NO WATER!!!

THAT is why I am fat. When I am stressed, bored and ESPECIALLY sitting at home I EAT EAT EAT like a little (or rather large) pig. I don't understand! I mean it was like I couldn't stop! This is why I need help from some kind of pill. That is about the only thing I can do to make myself stop eating!!! In high school I had gained some weight and took a diet pill for about a month and after that I pretty much kept what I ate down to a minimum. (I guess after my stomach shrank down.) Anyway, I have GOT to do better. I am SO glad I have this to be able to put all of this down in writing so I can't say, "I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't eat that much!!" UGH!

Morning Update

Those recipes looks yummy, especially the dip one. What could we eat with it? I wonder if celery would be good with it. It's pretty much tasteless anyway. Chips would be ok I guess, but only a handful.

I've already stumbled this morning, I ate 10 M&M's - that's 40 calories. I needed a chocolate fix.

I did bring my gym bag today though, and I'm headed there today as soon as I leave work. I haven't figured out what's for dinner yet. I really need to grocery shopping. I have about 10 recipes that are really good, low calorie recipes that both Bobby and Brayden like. I'll try to post them soon. I used them last time I was counting calories.

Good luck today! We can do this!

Useful Information Found on 11/27/06

Came across these links today and thought I would share:

Links

You told me about the www.hungry-girl.com website. I came across this one today that seemed interesting. http://www.aimeesadventures.com

Quiz

What kind of dieter are you?

http://www.thedietchannel.com/dietquiz/home-quiz.php?submit=Take+the+Test%21

Recipes

#1 Layered Dip
(ww recipe – don’t know the points - Found on net - haven't tried yet)
1 brick FF cream cheese spread out in galss pie pan (probably could use most any pan but this is what I used). Over the top of the cream cheese pour one can of FF (99% FF) Hormel Chili w/Beans. Sprinkle 1/2-1/3 cup FF shredded cheddar cheese over top and bake @ 350 for 5-10 minutes (or until obviously hot/bubbly). YUM

#2 Chicken/Cheesy Rice Soup
POINTS® value 4Servings 6Ingredients 32 1/4 oz Campbell's Chicken Soup With Rice 7 oz Green Giant Canned Mexicorn, With Peppers 1/2 cup fat-free skim milk 6 oz Kraft 2% Milk Singles Pepperjack Cheese 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper Instructions Heat soup (with 3 cans of water) and corn in pan. Add milk and cayenne pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and add cheese until melted through.

Weight Loss Myths

1. “Lose 30 pounds in 30 days.” Or any other gimmick that pledges massive weight loss at breakneck speed. “It’s not healthy, and it’s not true,” Wilbert says. Permanent weight loss requires lifestyle change, not a quick fix, he adds.

2. Fat is bad for you. “Dieticians forwarded that one to people for years,” says registered dietician and nutrition teacher Rick Hall. Now they know better. The truth is that some fats are unhealthy, and some are good – indeed, necessary – for your health. (Hence the term, “essential fatty acids”!)

3. Carbohydrates are bad for you. First it was fat, now carbohydrates are the bad guy. Wilbert explains that this trendy idea is just too broad. When trying to lose weight, make a distinction between unhealthy carbohydrates, such as white sugar, and complex carbohydrates, such as vegetables and whole grains, which provide vital vitamins, and fiber to aid digestion.

4. Lose weight by not eating. Uh…no. Starving deprives the body of the nutrients it needs for life and can lead to serious illness. Plus you lose muscle mass, not fat. Even if you do lose pounds, you gain them back almost immediately when you raid the fridge again.

5. Don’t eat after 6 p.m. “It’s not what time you eat, it’s what you eat!” insists Dare to Lose author, Shari Lieberman, Ph.D. “In Europe they eat at 10 o’clock at night and they’re half the size of Americans.”

6. Salad bars are healthy. Bacon, cheeses, fried chicken, oily dressings…The apparent allure of salad bars means they probably require as much of your considered attention as ordering at a fast food restaurant. “You have to choose the foods at a salad bar wisely,” Lieberman reminds people.

7. Diet sodas aid weight loss. This is one of Lieberman’s favorite pieces of diet-industry hype. “There isn’t a single study that shows diet sodas help you lose weight. There’s absolutely no data on that at all,” she claims.

8. You shouldn’t step on a scale. “It’s another misconception that dieticians have passed on,” says Hall. “I completely disagree with it.” He says checking your weight on a regular basis, say once or twice a week, is an obvious way to gauge your progress and alter your diet accordingly. However, Lieberman notes that scales in and of themselves, well, suck. She encourages people to keep track of hip, thigh and tummy inches, too.

9. You can lose weight with a pill. “You can’t replace healthy eating and exercise with a pill,” Hall warns. “Pills aren’t a new thing, they’ve been tried for decades…[with] horrible side effects.”

10. You have to join the gym. Actually, the most recent research indicates 30 to 60 minutes per day of moderate physical activity is all it takes to balance healthy food intake. It doesn’t have to be strenuous exercise, “just move your body!” exclaims Hall.

Yikes - Reality Check/11-27-06 Stats

I often think of overeating as someone that eats and eats all day. I may not necessarily do that but I kind of did a test run today of an average day of food to see how I did. Well lets just say - NOT SO GOOD!!

Breakfast: Weight Smart Oatmeal (added sugar, etc.) 250 Calories

Lunch: Dr. Pepper, fries, nuggets, sauce = 949

Two Meals equals: 1199

Dinner: I had fully planned to go home and cook but "life" happened and we decided to eat mexican. I don't know exact calories but by "questioned" at Calorie King I figure probably around 1000 to 1300 for ONE meal!! If I say 1300 - that leaves me with a grand total today of 2500!!! Yikes!!

Water: 2 glasses (16 oz. total) with crystal light on the go packet = 5 calories

When we started this whole thing in December 2005 my weight was 258. On May 10th my weigh in on here was 244 pounds. Both of these times I weighed in the nude first thing in the morning. Less than a week after Thanksgiving, one hour after dinner, fully dressed and close to bed time I just weighed in at - gulp - 265. That is 21 pounds!!! In six months!!! I should have been going the other way - not up but down!! So this gives me major motivation. I am so glad we have this site or I would have not been able to go back and find my weigh in info. That makes me want to work as hard as ever. I haven't walked today yet but even though it is late I am going to finish up this and one more post and put on my walking shoes!!!

Is Santa Real? To Tell or Not To Tell

Saturday my daughter Baylee (she is 8 and in the 3rd grade) tells me, "Momma, Madison told me her parents said there was not santa claus and that the gifts come from them." I think oh no here we go. So the answer I gave her was this, "Baylee, you are a big girl now. You can belive whatever you want but I will tell you like Nana told me when I was little. If I stop believing in Santa I don't get gifts from him anymore - only gifts from my family." She said, "Okay I believe." That was the end of the conversation.

My mom never told me there was not a Santa and I still get gifts from "santa" at her house. I just don't know if I should tell her or not. I think when you know it takes some of the fun out of Christmas. What age did you find out? Or when did your kids find out? If you have/or decide to tell them what will you say?

Monday 11/27/2006

Ok, so my first day back at it - WAS NOT very good. I'm blaming it on the fact that I had not gone grocery shopping yet. I picked up a few things on the way to work this morning, so I should be able to do a little better today though...

B - Weight Control Oatmeal, nothing added - 160
S - Graham Cracker with RF Peanut Butter - 148
S - South Beach Snack Bar - 100
L - Hawaiian Chicken Salad - 350 (guessing based on estimates from Calorie King)
S - Peanut Butter M&Ms - 240
D - 1.5 pieces of Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Pizza - 570 / life happened at our house too :)
D - 1 piece of Pizza Hut Thin Hamburger Pizza - 210
S - Weight Watchers Carrot Cake - 80

Total Calories - 1858
Total Water - 24 oz
Total Exercise - NONE

THE "F" WORD

I’m feeling extra F** too! I got on the scale this morning and thought I was going to pass out. On my September 22nd post, I weighed 215. Today I’m at 225!! That’s 10 lbs in 2 months!! This madness has got to end. I’m going to start posting my stats again each day too. My goal right now is just to lose that darned 10 lbs. I told myself that I would never hit 220 again after I got under it…well you see how that went. I’m not throwing in the towel just because of the Holidays. I’m buckling down and doing this.

Round 1,963,165,567,987,135 of Weight Loss Attempts

So after the wonderful holiday I am feeling B-L-O-A-T-E-D and alot like the "F" word. You know REALLY **FAT**. I have got to do something. Enough is enough! Even if it is drinking at least HALF of the required water (4 glasses) and walking 30 minutes a day I am doing SOMETHING and I am doing it now. There is no excuse!!!

So I am super busy and super tired but as part of my dedication to this at least ONCE a day I will be logging on here and leaving at least ONE sentence about how my day was.

I know this isn't much and my husband is bound and determined that I will not lose weight by walking only 30 minutes a day I am bound and determined to prove him wrong!!

So here we go again!!

Back for The Hundreth Time

So I have said it over and over that I will get back on here and start blogging and I have failed miserably. Just like I have with alot of other things. (Keeping my house clean, diets, handling my money better, etc.) I have decided that I am going to start keeping my promises and finishing what I start. I might not blog everyday or even every week but I am going to make a good effort anyway!!

So how was everyone's holiday?

Mine was awesome!! I saw my dad for the first time in 5 or 6 years. His girlfriend was really nice and so were her kids. Her youngest calls my dad "dad" and that will take some time to get used to but I am okay with it. My daughter calls my husband dad and he is not her real dad. I suppose the only reason it bothers me is because it has been so long since he has been a dad in my life. Things have changed and I am okay with that. I am happy for him and I hope he continues to keep in touch with our family. I think this has been the best Thanksgiving that I have ever had!!