Application to Date My Daughter

*I am telling you my child is just growing up to fast so I decided for future use I need to impliment this application!*

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and medical report from your doctor.

Name:________________________ Nickname/Alias:___________________
Date Of Birth:____/____/____ height:______ Weight:______ I.Q.:______ G.P.A.:________ Soc. Sec.#______-___-_______
Driver's License#____________________ Boy Scout Rank:_____________
Good Standing: Yes_____No_____
Home Address:_______________________________ City/State/Zip_____________________________ Home Phone#: (___)___________ Car Phone#:_______________ Pager#:__________

Do you own
a. Van?____ b. Truck with oversized tires?____ c. Car with a trunk full of speakers?_____

Do you have any of the following:
a. An earring_____ b. nose ring______ c. belly button ring_____ or piercings on any other body parts_____ Explain:_____________________________________________________
Tattoo?______ (If you answered YES to any of the above questions, discontinue and leave the premises immediately.)

In 30 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? ________________________________________________________________
In 30 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ________________________________________________________________

Church you attend_____________________ How often______________________
Best time to interview your pastor?_______________________
Fill In The Blank. Please answer freely, all answers will be confidential.
a. If I were beaten, the last bone I want to be broken broken is: ____________________________________________________
b. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me is ____________________________________________________
c. Now answer the question you filled in on B ____________________________________________________
NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly (and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you leave the premises quickly keeping your head low and running in serpentine fashion. I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, electrocution, and/or hot pokers.
_____________________________ Signature (This means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 - 6 YEARS for processing. If your application is approved, you will be contacted in writing. Please do not call or write, this could cause you unexpected injury. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two men wearing white ties and answering to the names GUIDO and LOUIE.