Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Weigh-In Wednesday: Tiff
So when I first started this "journey" in the fall of 2005 I was 262. When we started this blog I was 258. So counting from the original of 262 my total weight loss as of today is: 18.4 pounds!
Actually, Sunday I weighed and it was 242 so it would have been 20 but I will take 18.4! I need to lose SO much more than that! One day at a time!
We started working out this week and I hope my Wednesday Weigh-In's from here on out will look great!
Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer has started a new column called "Works-For-Me Wednesday". She has invited others to "play" along so you can go to her site and check out all the other great ideas. Also, there will be a link on the side bar called "Works-For-Me Wednesday" that will allow you to come back and look at the great ideas later in the week if you need too!
So my tip of the week is this: Travel Time Treats
Some may already know of this but if you don't this is a great way to keep kids entertained on a long trip. I take zip lock bags and put not only snacks for the trip but small toys, games, books all in their own bags. The trick is to buy small "travel" type games and toys (I am talking C.H.E.A.P. - like from the Everything's A Dollar Store) and keep them in a bag up front with you and not let the kids see them "at all" until it is time to pass them out. Then everytime they start to get fussy you pull out something "new". I have even done this with toys out of my daughter's room that she didn't know I brought. The reason it works so well is because if you give them everything all at once they get "bored". If you give them things "they don't even know you have" spread out through the trip they will play longer with each toy instead of the usual, "Are we there yet?" after five minutes. I am sure this works with kids of all ages but it really worked very well when my daughter was younger and just she and I would make long trips to visit family, etc.
Not much but that is what I have to offer this week!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Look Good While Getting In Shape
I Need My Space People!!!
On my side bar (right above my pictures) I will add a list called "Columns I Join" and so far I will have a link up to Works-For-Me Wednesday (Hosted by Shannon @ Rocks In My Dryer) and On The Menu Monday (Hosted by Traci @ Mostly Precious Moments). The most current one will be linked every week until the new one comes out - hence I will change the Wednesday one on Wednesdays and the Monday one on Mondays. Each of the "host" will have a links to others that are participating under their post. I encourage you all to participate! It is awesome!
So I will leave you with something I received in an email this morning:
When I Whine
~~~~~~~
Today, upon a bus, I saw a girl with golden hair
I looked at her and sighed and wished I was as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch
But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine
I have 2 legs, the world is mine.
~~~
I stopped to buy some candy
The lad who sold it had such charm
I talked with him a while, he seemed so very glad
If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.
~~~
Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue
He stood and watched the others play
He did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
And then I knew, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears, the world is mine.
~~~
With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I would know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I've been blessed indeed, The world is mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorrow looks back,
Worry looks around,
Faith looks up.
Monday, May 01, 2006
New Beginnings
It begins...Again!!!
Finally Admitted It!
I said, "Are you getting old?"
He said, "No just lazy.
My 8 year old daughter said without even looking up from her book so "matter of factly", "Well at least you finally admitted it."
I am telling you kids are something else! Where do they come up with these things!
She had us cracking up! All in all we had a pretty good weekend - kinda had some life changing things happen BUT that is another post in itself! Happy Monday to you all!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Fat Day
Yup...this is how I feel today!! I actually am down 2/10 of a pound again but I just feel "fat" today. When I have these days it just makes me want to eat!! I don't get it. What causes these fat days? I have on the same blue jeans I wore last Friday that made me feel so good!!! WHY, WHY, WHY!!! Well I plan on joining the Y this afternoon so hopefully I won't be having too many more "fat days"!!
My Little Artist
My daughter is a pretty talented artist - for her age. I am sure she gets it from her great grandmother and not me!! (My mother-in-law published a book - pictured to the left - containing her moms art - much of which hangs in my home! It can be found here.) I am amazed at some of the things she can come up with. She has made some really great drawings. I really should scan them in one day. Late last fall we were at my cousin's house and Baylee picked up her little boy's "magna" doodle and began to draw. Sometimes it is the intensity and concentration more than the picture itself that amazes me when she draws. She is a very special little girl. It has encouraged me to look around for a possible art class she could take...I have a feeling she could be very good. Like I said before it is not so much the art but the concentration, attention to detail and creativity that she comes up with when she draws! If she could draw a picture of me right now it would be one with a huge smile on my face.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Application to Date My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and medical report from your doctor.
Name:________________________ Nickname/Alias:___________________
Date Of Birth:____/____/____ height:______ Weight:______ I.Q.:______ G.P.A.:________ Soc. Sec.#______-___-_______
Driver's License#____________________ Boy Scout Rank:_____________
Good Standing: Yes_____No_____
Home Address:_______________________________ City/State/Zip_____________________________ Home Phone#: (___)___________ Car Phone#:_______________ Pager#:__________
Do you own
a. Van?____ b. Truck with oversized tires?____ c. Car with a trunk full of speakers?_____
Do you have any of the following:
a. An earring_____ b. nose ring______ c. belly button ring_____ or piercings on any other body parts_____ Explain:_____________________________________________________
Tattoo?______ (If you answered YES to any of the above questions, discontinue and leave the premises immediately.)
In 30 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? ________________________________________________________________
In 30 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ________________________________________________________________
Church you attend_____________________ How often______________________
Best time to interview your pastor?_______________________
Fill In The Blank. Please answer freely, all answers will be confidential.
a. If I were beaten, the last bone I want to be broken broken is: ____________________________________________________
b. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me is ____________________________________________________
c. Now answer the question you filled in on B ____________________________________________________
NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly (and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you leave the premises quickly keeping your head low and running in serpentine fashion. I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, electrocution, and/or hot pokers.
_____________________________ Signature (This means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 - 6 YEARS for processing. If your application is approved, you will be contacted in writing. Please do not call or write, this could cause you unexpected injury. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two men wearing white ties and answering to the names GUIDO and LOUIE.
Re-Inventing Me
Whew!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Gym Rat
I am not sure but I think I may be going about this whole "weight loss" thing the wrong way. For years I have focused mainly on what I "eat". I could tell you just about everything to eat or not to eat in order to lose weight. I don't think I particularly "over eat" all that often. I have actually gotten better about making "healthier" choices at meals and eating less food. My problem is the very sedentary lifestyle I live. Don't get me wrong with an 8 year old and as much as we do we go quite often but I don't really spend enough time really exercising. I go enough that my body is used to it. Initially I lost some weight because I changed the way I ate. Now I am not losing because I haven't changed my "exercising" habits. SO hopefully in the next couple of weeks the hubby and I will be joining the gym! We are making it a family "effort" to exercise...gulp...at least 5 days a week and my own personal goal of swimming once a week. (Mainly cause I like to swim!) We will see how it goes. I think after I start seeing results I will really get into the whole exercise thing!!
Switchin' it up
A friend of mine recently joined a certain weight loss program. Well she shared the info with me and I'm going to try it out. It is very similar to another weight loss program that I did a few years ago. It was great and I lost about 15 lbs in a month... it was just way to expensive. Anyway, the program is a balanced mix of carbs and proteins and you use store bought food. They do recommend their drink supplements. The other program also had drinks supplements. The nutritional content of both are almost identical to these, so I am going to order me a few boxes. These are much cheaper than the ones at the facility. I can't really start until I go grocery shopping, so I plan to begin this coming Sunday. As for my current program....I guess I'm really not on one. I'm just trying to watch what I eat. I weighed this morning and I'm still right where I was last week.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
My pants story...
By the way, I love the part about your "sucker in panties" - I can so relate!
Tiff,
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I'm The Biggest Loser!!!
Oh Those Pants!!!
Yup those pants..you know the ones. You buy them and they really aren't that comfy but you think just a couple of pounds and they will be fine. Well I bought those pants...last year. I wore them once with those good panties that suck you in. WELL I have been SO busy lately that I forgot to wash work clothes and I was left with ...you guessed it...the pants! I couldn't find my good "sucker in panties" so I just had my regular ones on. I closed my eyes, slowly pulled them up, buttoned them without sucking in...WHAT...did that really just happen!! I run to the mirror and look to see if they really were "the pants" and guess what...they were!!! They are even lose in a couple of places!! Woohoo!! SO I had to share my pants story with you!!
Do any of you have a good "pants" story???
Monday, April 17, 2006
I'm stuck...
or in fancy diet terms, I have plateau’d . When I first began writing this post, I decided to begin by finding articles on the subject, so that I could figure out why I am stuck. Once I began reading, the answer was very obvious … I haven’t plateau! I’m just not doing what I was doing in the beginning when the weight went quickly. I’ve had myself believing I was doing well, and although I have been doing better than I was 6 months ago, I’m not doing as well as I was in the beginning. When I first begin I was...
…drinking 100oz of water a day; now I’m lucky if I get 50oz
…avoiding caffeine; lately I’ve begin drinking a diet soda everyday and 3 or 4 on the weekends.
…getting no more than 1250 calories a day: I now average about 1600
…walking at least 3 nights a week; I’ve only been 3 times in the last 2 weeks
So, this weeks goal are to get 100oz of water everyday, avoid diet soda, stay under 1200 and walk, walk, walk. I’m also planning to try Curves this week. The articles I read said that if you aren’t building muscle as you diet, then you are losing muscle along with the fat and that slows down your metabolism. So I’m hoping Curves will help me in that area.
Think you have hit a plateau? Take a step back and reevaluate what you are doing, it may just be a slacker disguised as a plateau.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Weigh - In Wednesday...a day late - Traci
So there were no donuts to battle this morning, but there was a huge Easter basket full of goodies on my desk this morning. It had a huge chocolate bunny, lots of candy and several other non-edible items. So cute! We all got one. They were from the diviion heads.
Well it's 3:00 in the afternoon and I've sat next this basket all day and only been tempted once...and I gave in. I caved...I ate the one and only peanut butter bon bon in the basket. It was goood. I had to eat it, Brayden hates peanut butter :) The rest will be recycled into his Easter Basket. I tried to find how many calories were in a bon bon....I'm estimating it was around 150. Considering that only brings my day's total to 500 so far, I'm not feeling too guilty about it.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Ding, Ding, Ding - Round 3
Sensible Traci: "Don't even think about it"
Addicted Traci: *thinking about it* "So if it's 300 calories, then half would only be 150, not bad."
Sensible Traci: "You're going to kill 150 calories on 2 bites of a donut?"
Addicted Traci: "You're right, if I'm going to do it, I should just eat the whole thing!"
Sensible Traci: "Snap out of it, you CAN'T have it! Would you rather taste that donut or lose weight?"
Addicted Traci: *big sigh* "Oh all right, I won't have one"
Addicted Traci: *as I leave the kitchen* "Those skinny people just don't know how lucky they are"
Addicted Traci: *as I sit down at my desk* "I feel good that I resisted it, I mean come on, it's just a donut!"
I know it's good when "addicted me" starts talking like "sensible me". That's progress!
The battle of the bulge is not easy, but we can do it ....one donut at a time!!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Update
When I was keeping it under 1200, the lbs were going. And even though it seemed slow at the time, 2-3 lbs a week is actually pretty quick. I'm watching the fat also and trying to increase the protein. I've started drinking a Slim Fast Low Carb Shakes (20g of protein) in the afternoon and it's seems to really help curb the hunger.
I weighed in at 217 on Friday, but I'm back down to 213 today. I'll make my "official" weigh in tomorrow on "Weigh In Wednesday"!
WANNA BE A LOSER?
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Kitty On House Arrest!
Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis. Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer.
"He looks like Felix the Cat and has six toes on each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. "They are formidable weapons."
The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.
Some of those who were bitten and scratched ended up seeking treatment at area hospitals.
Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield.
In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home.
Solveira also arrested the cat's owner, Ruth Cisero, charging her with failing to comply with the restraining order and reckless endangerment.
Monday, March 27, 2006
I have a Personal Trainer!!
Jesus, my Lord and Savior. As of today, I am turning this over to you. Push me aside and take this thing head on. Help me to conquer my addictions to food and give me the drive that I need to get the exercise program back on track. It is not your will that I be fat and miserable. It is your will that I be healthy and happy! Let Your will be done God. I give this to you. I am just going to sit back and let you move in this situation. I've said it before, but the control freak in me just can't let go. Forgive me for not trusting in you enough to let go. I want to let go. Teach me how to let go. I need you pick me up and take me through this. I love you and am believing you for health, strength and happiness. Not only do I want to lose weight, I want to learn to love myself more. Teach me to love myself. Surround me with positive, supportive people that will only build me up. I commit to you today to do whatever it is you speak to me. Amen!
I've said a thousand times that if only I had a personal trainer, I could do this. They could motivate me and be there to hold me acountable. But they are so expensive!
Well, God just spoke to me and said "You do have a Personal Trainer! I've been sitting right here next to you this whole time just waiting for you to call and sign up. The best part is that I am FREE!!! I paid the fee along time ago! I will motivate you. I will hold you accountable. I will teach you and guide you. I will walk with you every step of the way. I am your Personal Trainer! I don't ever close, I'm always here for you"
So I went to Ask.com and decided to type in "What is a personal trainer"?
Here are some excerpts from what I found...
A qualified trainer understands principles of anatomy, physiology...
A certified personal trainer is the difference in a successful fitness program...
A certified personal trainer is proven to be unparalleled in achieving desired fitness levels, increased motivation, and long term wellness...
So I am declaring today that God is my new Personal Trainer!!
Confessions of a Pig: Part I & II & III & IV & so on
Monday, March 20, 2006
How Goes It?
So how has everyone been? Things have been crazy around here so I haven't had much time to even email much less post!! Just thought I would put up a picture from a float we were on at the St. Patty's Parade. (Some of mine & my daughters friends - my daughter is on the far right.) Hope everyone is well! Talk to you soon - I hope!
OH By the way - Bombadil & Goldberry's sites are up and going and "safe" again! I just now got around to adding them back! Glad to know!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Confessions of a Pig!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Just So Ya' Know
Monday, March 06, 2006
Ear Stapling
SO I actually follwed a fad - I went and got my ears (yes both of them) stapled. Yeah I haven't always been the brightest one when it comes to weight loss! Ha! It sounds wild but you can read about it at www.staplepower.com and I am sure you can do a search on the web for it. Me and one of my friends went last Thursday. I have heard of several people losing weight by doing this and the lady that put ours in lost 10 pounds in two weeks. It does say it won't work for everyone but I am at my wits end and I SO hope it works for me! I told my hubby that it may just be one of those things that is "all in your head" but all I know is - whatever works!! If it takes me putting staples in my ear to make me think I will lose some weight then so be it! Ha! I have already lost 10 pounds since January and I am SO hoping that by our Disney trip in May that I will lose that much more! I will keep you updated through the journey.
Have any of you heard of this or do you know anyone who has had any success with it? I would be curious to know!
Friday, March 03, 2006
Long Time No Post!!
I don't know if you have heard of this new weight loss craze of "ear stapling". At first I was like, "What...?" Then I know of some people that have had positive results from it. One of my friends and I went yesterday and had it done to both ears (you can read a little about it here www.staplepower.com) We don't know if it is going to work or not but hey at least we won't regret not trying! I will keep you updated on that!
When I originally started trying to lose weight back in August I was 262. By the time we started this I was down to 258. Since then it has been a roller coaster ride! When we stareted our Biggest Loser competition at work I was back up to 260. This morning I decided to weigh in (for the first time in weeks) just so I would be able to tell by next week if the staples are working or not and guess what.....I WEIGHT 250!!! I don't know how I did it but I have lost 10 pounds! Maybe because I have not been stressed about trying to lose weight so I finally did it! Now I am pumped and I want to SO bad see that number get below 250! Anyway - I have to get back to work but I wanted to briefly update you on my status!
By the way, have you talked to Aunt Teresea and your mom about joining the site?
Food Finds
Listed in this format:
Food(linked to website)/Where I buy them/Calories
Pastry Twists - Wal-Mart/60 per twist
These are yuummmy! Brayden and Bobby like them too, so I have to buy enough to share.
High Protein Fruit Drink - Internet/70 per packet and 16g of protein T
These are the drinks I used to have to buy when I joined the local "weight loss center". I've just now realized I can buy them online. The wild berry is my favorite. The WLC recommended 3 a day, but I'm planning to do 2 a day. I definetly need to get more protein in and this is a great way to do it.
Edy's Light and No Sugar Added Ice Cream - Wal-Mart/90-130 per 1/2 cup
I've mentioned these before, but they are worth mentioning again. I've only had the Light, but it is awesome, so I'm guessing the other has to be pretty good also.
Eggo Toaster Swirlz - Wal-Mart/120 (1 set of 4)
These are a great fix for the sweet tooth. There are lots of other choices on the Eggo site that are low in calorie (the key is eating only what the serving is)
1/3 Less Sugar Cereals - WM/120 for 1 & 1/4 cups
I loooovee cereal. I always thought that I needed to give it up if I was trying to los weight. What I need to give up is eating 2 huge full bowls of it. (please tell me I'm not the only one??) The serving you get for 120 calories is actually quite a lot. Add 1 C 2% milk and you only have a total of 245 calories. I love to eat the Fruit Loops w/o milk for a afternoon snack also.
Frozen Vegetables - WM / 60-110 per cup
Both Birsdeye and Green Giant make some great vegetable "side dishes". I can eat 2 servings of these vegetables for dinner and be stuffed and stay under 200 calories. I really like vegetables but hate the chore of making fresh veggies tasty without adding a bunch of oil or butter.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Today Even The Music Cries
I try and try not to let my feelings show.
I am only human my heart so tender and easy to bruise.
Why can't you say I am sorry or my bad or hey girl I tried!
How I long for someone to stand up for me and be by my side.
No admission at all - now the tears start to fall.
What is that I hear? Is it the music or is it tears?
I guess today even the music cries.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Predator Among Us
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HE IS MOVING INTO MY NEIGHBORHOOD!!!
It is scary to many of us because it is just a normal middle class neighborhood loaded with kids! Not to mention he will be a neighbor of someone I know! They have at least 3 school buses just for my daughers school. HERE is an article from when he was originally arrested in Missouri and HERE is a link from one of our local news channels.
As a mom of an almost 8 year old I am pretty upset about all of this! What is your take on it? How would you feel?
Monday, February 27, 2006
Weekend Update
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Brad & Jen Finally Divide the Loot!
BRAD Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have agreed a multi-million-pound divorce settlement, Finally. The couple thrashed out the deal just over a year after they announced their split.
Friends star Jen, 37, will keep the 16.6million mansion they lived in for five years of marriage. The 12,000sq ft Beverly Hills property boasts eight bedrooms, six bathrooms, a pool, spa and tennis courts.
In return, Pitt, 42, holds on to the controlling share of their film company, Plan B Productions, believed to be worth more than 28million.
It's hot property after making 12 successful indie movies, including Tim Burton's Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. All I know is I really wouldn't mind getting either end of that deal!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Food Find
By the way, I forgot to post my weight yesterday but it was back down to 211!!
Dunkin' Donuts!!
I figured instead of putting a picture of the yummy donut, I'd put a picture of the nutrition label!!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Show Me The Weight Loss! Show Me The Weight Loss!
wow that is so profound and inspirational and SOOOOOOOO TRUE! Tell her we will pray for her courage and ask her to pray for ours. To be brave enough to fight this giant. p.s. bet she got an "A" in speech class too!
I mean really that was SO true! Though I will say there has been alot in my life that I say I want but I really don't give 100%. I mean I really do want it but it is like I don't know why I don't try harder!! The thing is I DO deserve to do better than I do about alot of things! Plus, I mean how hard is it really to say no! I mean I say no to lots of other things that would keep me from reaching other goals so why is this so hard! I think you hit the nail on the head when it comes to almost feeling like a drug addict would feel! This HAS to be how they feel! We have got to do this! It is so important to us and it is just time! Every time I try to make an excuse I am going to remember the "speech" you just gave and say DOG GONE IT! I am WORTH this!! All I have to say about what you wrote is this!
*clap* *clap* *clap* BRAVO!
What A Blur!!
Things have been flying by the past week or so for me! It has been wild!! So what have I been doing you ask? Well....
Last Thursday
I had an assignment due in my biology class. Then that night my hubby, daughter and I went with my best friend's family to the Rodeo. The kids loved it! We also got to see Dierks Bentley while we were there! Hubba! Hubba!
Friday
A bunch of us were supposed to go out for my best friend's hubbies and mom's bdays but the birthday folks decided they didn't want to go. I ended up going to my friends house and eating some yummy steak & twice baked potatoes! We had to go over to visit her mom and tell her happy birthday and check out her soon to be finished/remodeled kitchen. We went and grabbed a couple of movies and then that was when I got the call. What call you ask? My husband - who is the the USCG and was on his way to drill several hours away - called and said, "Baby, I have bad news. I am halfway there and just realized when I dropped you off you left you keys in the ignition and now I have them with me!" OH NO! I was LOCKED out of my house from Friday night until Sunday night! My daughter was already spending the night with my friends daughter so I was invited to make myself at home for the night on their couch!
Saturday
I had to get up early while everyone was asleep and go buy me and my daughter all the necessities needed when you spend a weekend from home! I guess one good thing out of the deal is I got new clothes and make-up! Ha! After that I picked my daughter up from my friend's house and we went to my mom's. We (me, mom, daugher and 10 year old brother) rode to my 23 year old brothers house to check out all the work he has done! Then we went shopping & browsing! Afterwards we went back to mom's and had lunch and the adults napped while the kids watched a movie! Oh boy was it nice! That afternoon my friend called to see if I wanted to go out with a group of my other friends but I told her to go ahead and I would plan to join in the next weekend or so because I was going to go out to eat with my family and go watch Motocross! It was SO good! They do the coolest tricks on those motorcylces and 4-wheelers! I would be scared to death! Ha! My 7 year old daughter whats a motorcycle now. She liked them even before that night because her uncle has a room full of trophies from all of his motocross!
Sunday
My best friend called me around 8:30ish to update me on the night before and to find out if we were going to church. Since I was locked out I didn't have church clothes and she had a family function to go to with her hubby we skipped church for the week and promised to get back in the swing of things next week! My step-dad cooked us a great breakfast and then we went out to my step-grandparents farmhouse. They have horses and dogs everywhere! The kids had a blast. Afterwards we all went for pizza and then riding around looking for new cars! When we got back to my mom's I got my things packed together and was on my way to meet my hubby (who was coming back in town) and I got another call from him saying he had a little fender bender! No damage done so HOPEFULLY all will be fine! I was so glad to be home Sunday night - we even turned on the gas logs and just relaxed!
Monday
Back to work - I was SO tired from all of my going that weekend! I had to spend my lunch hour running around buying stuff for my daughters Valentine's party. After work I met my hubby & daughter for dinner and then I headed back to my best friends mom's house for our weekly Monday night meeting of watching The Bachelor! I got home and worked a couple of hours I was WIPED by the time I finally crawled into bed!
Tuesday
Happy Valentine's Day! I got up and got my daughter off to school to get a sugar high on all the candy the would be eating that day! Me and a friend met my mom and one of her friends for lunch. After work we went and met my whole "immediate" family to take my grandmother out for dinner for Valentine's day. It was a really wonderful time and with her Alzheimers I cherish every moment that we spend that way! I took her back to the nursing home and the hubby headed to the house. When I got home the hubby was cleaning up. My daughter went on to bed and the hubby allowed me to take a nice long, hot, bubble bath in the jacuzzi tub! After I got out I got a massage and some TLC from the hubby!
Wednesday
Went to work and then went home and worked some more! At bed time we realized my mini-schnauzers batteries for his collar for the underground fence must have gone dead. He had gotten out and we took 1 hour and 1/2 or longer looking for him! After my hubby found him we FINALLY got into bed!
Today
I am at work and super busy! Not to mention right after 5:00 I have an assignment for school due. Then I have to go home and work some more (I have really been putting in some O.T.!) and start studying for a check test that will be tomorrow.
Weekend Plans
My best friend is having a root canal done tomorrow so I offered to watch her daughter if she would like me to. Saturday if the weather is good I have to help my mom at my grandmothers house. Then we may get together with a bunch of our friends Saturday night and go out. Sunday morning Church of course and then Sunday afternoon hopefully some R&R! Somewhere in between all of that chaos I have to squeeze in some study time for my Biology mid-term next week!
Whew! So are you tired! I know I am! I guess I will talk to you later! If you don't hear from me until this time next week you know why! ;-)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
What do you want??
How does that happen? How can someone want something more than anything in the world, but not want to do what it takes to have it. It's not like I'm 5'6" wanting to be 6'. I want something that IS possible, something that is as easy as just making the decision to do it. I will never understand it. If I had some horrible deadly disease and they offered me a cure, I would do anything it took to get the cure. I would think I was worthy of receiveing it. But somehow this disease is different. I like the way the disease tastes, I like the way this disease makes me feel (in the moment anyway). But on the other hand this disease IS killing me...slowly. It interrupts my livelyhood, it makes me cry, it makes me depressed, it makes me feel weak and unworthy, yet somehow the good feeling I get from it is more powerful then the horrible feeling it also gives me. It truly is like a heroine addiction (not that I know from personal experience) The more the addict does it, the more they want. When they do it, it makes them feel wondeful, but afterwards they hate themselves....but they continue to go back, over and over again.
I am worthy of this...WE are worthy of this. We are worthy of the money it takes, the time it takes and the support needed from those that love us.
I am robbing my marraige.
I am robbing my relationship with Brayden.
I am robbing my future.
I say there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for my child, yet there is...
CAN I do this? Yes
Do I NEED to do this? Definetly
Do I really WANT to do this? Honestly? I'm not sure. I definetly want to lose weight, but I don't know if I want to do what it takes to do it. If I did...wouldn't I be doing it? My body doesn't want to do it and I'm not sure that my mind is quite on board with the idea either.
They (who are "they" anyway) always say with any addiction that not only do you have to want it, but you have to want to do it what it takes to overcome it. I disagree.... I don't think I have to want to workout everyday for the rest of my life and I don't think I have to want to skip dessert from now on. If I waited until I wanted to do those things, then I'm not sure I would ever do it.
So the real question is.. CAN I do something that I really don't want to do? Do I have the inner strength to suck it up and do what it takes even when I don't want to do it? YES. YES I DO!!
and I have proof...
I stood in front of my college Speech Orientation class every Monday night and gave a speech. I DID NOT want to. I knew I wasn't good at it. I HATED it. But I dug down and found the strength to do it anyway. I did it because I wanted the "A" and it was worth it.
I made myself vulnerable and laid on a table, half naked for hours with my legs spread open in front of my husband, mother and a room full of complete strangers. I definetly DID NOT want to...but I did. I knew the reward was worth. Brayden was worth it.
I packed up my stuff and my son and left my husband after almost 5 years of marragie to go live with my parents. I DID NOT want to!! I loved him and wanted to be with him. I bawled my eyes out along the way, but I did it. As heartbreaking and scary as it was...I DID IT! I found strength in God, in my family and most of all strength in myself that I did not know was there. At the time I didn't know it would come to be one of the best things that ever happened to our marriage and probably the only reason we are still together today. So was it worth it?? Yes, even though at the times it was so hard and my heart ached! Even though I felt weak and wanted to give up sometimes.
So do I want to do all of the hard work that it takes? Want to? Not really. Will I? Yes. Because I know the reward will be worth it.
It will be really hard at times. There will be mornings when my muscles will ache as I climb out of bed. I will have moments of weakness. There will be days that I feel like giving up. So even though I really don't want to do what it takes... I know that I have the strength and the determination to do it anyway. I WILL do this...not because I want to... but because I have to. For Bobby, for Brayden and most importantly....FOR ME!!
I hope there comes a point in this process that I will actually enjoy exercising and I hope there comes a time when I enjoy passing on the dessert...but for now it's going to be all about inner strength and doing what I don't really want to do.
Do you REALLY want it??
What things have you done in life that you really didn't want to do?
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy Valentine's Day!!
These roses are for each of you and they represent friendship! If any of you are giving roses today here are some helpful hints to make sure you are sending the right message! Enjoy!
Rose Color Meaning
Amaranth Red Long Standing Desire
Cardinal Red Sublime Desire
Carmine Red Deceitful Desire
Firey Red Flames of Passion
Black roses Death, Hatred, Farewell. Mostly used at funerals.
Orange and Coral roses Desire
Lavender/Purple roses Sublime Desire
Peach/Pale colored roses Deceitful Desire
Pink Roses Flames of Passion
Light Pink Roses Death, Hatred, Farewell. Mostly used at funerals.
Orange & Yellow Roses Enthusiasm, Desire, Passionate thoughts.
Yellow Roses Joy, Friendship.
White Roses Reverence, Humility.